


You Came to Me

by ConstantDrift



Series: SQ RB SW Trilogy [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, Futanari, Genderbending, Genderfuck, Rape Recovery, True Love, Werewolves, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-23
Updated: 2013-10-17
Packaged: 2017-11-26 13:50:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/651161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConstantDrift/pseuds/ConstantDrift
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Wolf is so much more than you've read in fairy tales. What will it take, exactly, for budding romance to overcome the most horrible experience either has ever experienced? **IN PROGRESS -- Have no fear, this is a Red Beauty love story and I only do happy endings!!** PS. This story is an act of love, healing, and is a serious personal challenge I've given myself. It means a lot to me; please read with gentleness and care. (Reposted from FF.N by request)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Ruby could hear Belle calling out for her, hot on her heels. She felt herself panicking and dove into the alley, hoping Belle would just walk on by.

No such luck. "Ruby?" Ruby swallowed, watching from the shadows as Belle turned into the alleyway. Her heart sank, blood pounding hard and fast in her ears. "Ruby, what happened? You left the diner so fast, I wanted to talk to you. Are you - are you ok?" Belle could just make out her best friend's silhouette.

Ruby spoke quickly, panicking, feeling the Wolfstime upon her. "Belle, you have to listen to me. Don't come any closer. You have to go - now! Please don't ask me why, Belle! There's no time. Run! Run and don't look back!"

The petite librarian could see her friend trembling in the dark, could hear the fear in her voice, but held her stead. "I'm not going anywhere," she spoke softly, sweetly, as she was ought to do. "I told you I wasn't afraid of you. You'll never ever hurt me, Ruby. I trust you."

Ruby felt her heart melting as the words fell from the woman she secretly loved with all her heart, but knew her first priority was to keep her safe. And The Wolf was fast encroaching on her sanity. But how could she fix this? Sadly, Ruby knew they were out of time.

When Belle was close enough, she reached out a hand to touch the tall waitress but was stopped abruptly, mid-air. Ruby's hand had grabbed her wrist so tight it hurt. Belle heard a low growl, and for the first time, fear rushed through her.

The voice that came next was not what she had expected, was barely human. "You should have run!" It said, snarling, a wet toothy sound to it. And the next thing she knew, Belle's face was against the wall, arm twisted painfully behind her back.

She felt Ruby's hot breath on the back of her neck, felt herself shiver at the contact. She managed to snake her other hand along her friend's side just to verify the woman was still there and still human before being pushed harder into the wall.

Unceremoniously, Ruby's long manicured fingers began running up underneath the hem of Belle's skirt and between her thighs. "Ruuh-Ruby?" Belle tried to speak, face scrunched against the wall. "Wh-what are you doing? You're hurting me." Her face was being ground against the alleyway by the force pushing from behind, bits of concrete crumbling against her cheek.

"Shut it!" Ruby ordered, her voice a low snarl, her breath rough and ragged. She gripped the other woman more tightly, brutally pressing their bodies together, relentlessly digging her fingers into Belle's soft skin.

Belle quickly obeyed, mind and heart racing. The night was quiet and still around them, the population of Storybrooke oblivious to the violence taking place in its midst. Their breaths were low and hollow in the darkness, the irony of the peaceful evening not lost on any of them, not even The Wolf. The calm before the storm was broken, however, as Ruby pushed up Belle's skirt from behind and began to rub herself against the other woman's perfectly toned ass. Belle was terribly confused by this, her fear rising. And what was that she felt being pushed against her? It felt like _more than_  Ruby, almost like–

Ruby tore Belle's panties to the side, ripping them to uselessness. Belle gasped and began to cry. She could feel the woman behind her rustling at her own skirt, more fabric tearing, before lifting it up behind her and that's when Belle knew her suspicions, as bizarre as they were, were true: a long thick cock was now pressed against her bare ass.

Belle trembled. Her legs were shaking so badly at this point, she doubted she'd be able to stand if it wasn't for the insane pressure of the other body on her back. Ruby kicked the librarian's feet apart, then leaned in, hot breath on Belle's ear, and whispered in a hot growl, "You should have left when you could. The Wolf changes shape under a full moon, but not always the way you might think on the day before or after. You made your choice. Now you're mine."

Belle felt Ruby sniffing the back of her hair, her skin, sucking on her neck roughly, grinding her hardened member against Belle's backside, pre-cum coating her ass cheeks. "Ruby, stop," she sobbed harder, legitimately terrified now.

"Please, sweetie, just stop. You don't have to do this!" Ruby just grunted and shifted her own legs so that she could slide her rock hard dick in between Belle's legs, rubbing it against the other woman's lower lips and clit. "Fuck, you feel so good, Belle," she growled.

Ruby reached up over Belle's chest and ripped open the fabric, tearing it into tatters over her stomach. Belle screamed. The waitress grabbed the back of Belle's hair and yanked her head back, "Don't make a sound. The Wolf can't stop. You came to ME! I told you to stay away! But did you listen?!" Ruby wasn't just aroused, she was angry. Angry that Belle hadn't heeded her warning. And for one moment, forehead bowed against the back of Belle's head, Belle's friend emerged and spoke to her - the Wolf subdued for a moment, her Ruby had returned to her. The tall brunette spoke softly, "I didn't want this for us, Belle, please know that. I will do my best to fight The Wolf." And with that, Ruby was gone, The Wolf overtaking all her senses, and she bit Belle's neck, marking her.

The Wolf began bucking her hips against the small woman in front of her, and there were no more words. Only grunts and movement. Belle bit her lip as hard as she could, tears streaming down her face, as Ruby's hands molested her breasts brutally, tearing her bra into pieces as well. Occasionally she'd felt the woman behind her repositioning herself between her legs and she was certain she would try to enter her, but for some reason The Wolf would stop and simply resume thrusting against her outer parts. Belle closed her eyes against the torrent of tears, pitifully thankful for this one small favor, and just prayed it would be over soon. And it was, though not as fast as Belle would have liked. Ruby pinned her captive harder against the wall than ever before and moaned a deep throaty guttural growl, right before her giant cock began to spasm between Belle's legs. Hot cum jettisoned repeatedly over the underside of Belle's skirt and between her thighs. All became still and The Wolf panted, her softening member lingering between the smaller woman's legs, as if collecting herself. Ruby released Belle then, spent, and collapsed against her friend's back, overwhelmed by regret and sorrow. It was over. The Wolf had released them both. Sobbing now herself, Ruby choked out, "I warned you! I fucking warned you! Oh, Belle! I'm so sorry! Stay away from me!" Belle felt the tears on her shoulders but was too scared to move, let alone turn around as the other woman sobbed against her.

Then all at once, the warmth from behind her was gone and Belle heard footsteps retreating back down the alley and away from her, Ruby's lament clear and loud, howling into the night as she ran. Belle was a mess but finally alone. She crumbled to her feet and cried for a good, long time before she somehow picked herself up and began the long walk home.


	2. Chapter 2

Belle was completely exhausted, both emotionally and physically, as she reached the front stoop of the library and turned the key. She half stumbled, half shuffled inside, quickly bolting the door behind her. She didn't need anymore surprises tonight.

She shrugged off her coat, adding it to the coat stand in the library's foyer and made her way back to her loft, a private compartment of rooms above the main library floor. As she climbed the stairs, her mind was numb. Only her normal routine mattered now. As she reached her room, she felt the need to bolt that door behind her, too. The fear she had felt was exquisite and even in her current state, she couldn't -  _wouldn't_  - let anyone else near her tonight.

She stripped silently, her ruined clothing discarded in the trash - the unruined clothing with it. This skirt and top and socks and even shoes would never be worn again.

The bathroom was her next stop, to inventory the damage. She found several shallow lacerations across her chest and her abdomen from the ripping and tearing of clothing. Bruises were dark and deep on her hips, left wrist, breasts and neck, as well as a few other miscellaneous spots she didn't really want to think about.

She stepped into the tub next and turned the shower on almost as hot as it would go, relishing the heat against her skin, wanting the last hour to just wash away with everything else. She scrubbed her skin raw, cringing as she soaped between her legs, the flesh brutalized and angry. But soon the archaic procedure of washing the filth from her body was over, and she stepped out, drying her body much more gently that she had cleaned it. Now was time for softness, gentleness.

She exited the bathroom and made her way to the queen bed in the middle of her room. She opened the dresser next to it and slipped on a t-shirt, an over-sized pajama top over that, and full length pajama pants - not wanting to leave any more skin open to the night than necessary, turned back her covers, slipped inside the sheets and pulled them over her head like she had when she was a child. It wasn't until she turned out the lights and all was still that she heard The Wolf's lament once more, out in the night. The tears came again and while curled up in the fetal position, she eventually cried herself to sleep.

* * *

Ruby woke the next morning on the floor of the diner's kitchen. She tried to remember the previous night's events but the memories were hazy. . . At least at first. But as she moved to pull herself from the cold linoleum, flashbacks began to bombard her - the tastes, the smells, Belle's face in front of her, twisted against rock - no wait - concrete? A concrete wall? And Ruby's hands were all over her‒

Ruby began to panic.  _No. No! Please tell me this didn't happen._

She managed to pull herself up from the floor and look down at her own clothes. She saw a gash in her panties and vaguely remembered tearing them open, releasing herself from within. The Wolf had engulfed her by then. She remembered being so angry at Belle for not listening to her warnings.  _Why didn't you listen, sweet Belle?_

She saw a long stream of dried cum, and other spots here and there, on the inside of her short skirt. Her worst fears were confirmed. She had assaulted and violated her very best friend. The woman she adored. The woman she secretly desired more than any other person on the planet, the woman she was in love with. The tears came hard and fast then. She clutched her stomach and retched, vomiting repeatedly into the industrial food service sink near the wall. The nausea in her belly was overwhelming, the knot in her throat threatening to cut off her oxygen completely. She vomited again and again until she slowly slid down the side of the sink to the floor once more, nothing left.

_Oh, sweet, sweet Belle. I'm so sorry._

The tears fell relentlessly. She had destroyed the only woman she had ever truly loved and surely destroyed their friendship as well. There would be no coming back from this. Her heart seized in anguish and she begged against all rational thought, for the night to start over. To all of this to have been a bad nightmare. To make it all go away.

_I lost her because I'm a monster._

It really was that simple.


	3. Chapter 3

Ruby eventually picked herself up and walked back to the Inn. She knew this only because she'd suddenly found herself there, pulling open the doors and entering the dimly lit lobby. She'd hoped to sneak passed the front desk and make it to the stairs before she was discovered, but again, no such luck. Eugenia Lucas had heard her granddaughter return and ran into the lobby from the back room, clearly annoyed and ready to pounce.

"Ruby! You ungrateful child! You're home late -  _again_! I expected you hours ago! Where ha–"

Granny stopped dead, mid-reprimand, completely shocked by the tattered and broken woman in front of her. She rushed to Red's side.

"Oh my god, Ruby! Honey! Are you ok? Are you hurt? Where is your cloak?"

Ruby looked into her Gran's eyes and the elder Lucas was taken aback by the haunted visage she saw within. "Honey, you're scaring me. Come here. Tell Granny everything." She led Ruby to a small sofa in the lobby and took the younger woman's hands in her own, looking her over for any sign of why her clothes were halfway torn off and where the blood had come from. Because there were smears of blood. Pretty much everywhere.

Ruby's eyes met the floor in response, her head and heart heavy, not sure how to say what she needed to, eyes filling with oceans of despair. Granny pulled her close against her chest, comforting, as the young woman began to sob openly. Eugenia just let her cry, hoping the girl would quiet soon and give her the whole story. A few minutes later, the sobs evened out, leaving Ruby with the hiccups and even more miserable than she had thought possible.

"Gran, I was awful. I hu-rt her. The one I lo-lo-ve!" Ruby couldn't bear to lift her face to meet her grandmother, couldn't bear the judgment.

"Ruby, honey, slow down. What are you talking about? Who did you hurt? What's happened?" Widow Lucas was growing ever more concerned.

"Be-Belle," Ruby said softly. "I hurt her. I HU-HURT HER!" Ruby jumped up then, pulling away from the other woman's safe embrace, hands in fists at her sides, tears still dripping down her cheeks.

Granny was surprised at the outburst, but rose to meet her, throwing her hands out, gripping the younger woman's upper arms. "Ruby, I doubt it's that bad. Tell me what happened. Please," she begged.

Ruby shrugged out of the older woman's grasp, pushing her away and stepping back, feeling unworthy of comfort. "I raped her, ok?! I fucking RAPED her!" And a moment later, as if reliving the event, "In a goddamn disgusting alleyway of all places, ok?! Is that what you want to hear?!" Ruby's face was twisted in shame, rage, and anguish - all directed inward.

The older woman gasped loudly, despite herself. To her credit, she hadn't expected this in the slightest. Ruby had had always had trouble handling the Wolf on full Wolfstime, but not usually on the days before or after. It had been slightly confusing for the girl, she remembered, when Red had been old enough to start receiving the Gifts of the Wolf, and had begun growing "something extra" on the two days surrounding the main event. But although the cloak couldn't seem to keep that particular "gift" at bay, Red had taken it in stride, just acting like it was no big deal that she had a penis two days a month, and honestly, under her long cloak and skirts, no one else had ever been the wiser. So yeah, Granny was shocked, and stood staring at the lanky brunette somewhat stupidly for a beat before regaining her senses and dropping back down onto the couch. "I see," she said simply, seemingly lost in her own thoughts.

Ruby couldn't understand this reaction. She'd just fucking RAPED her best friend and Gran had checked out? What the hell? "Gran, what can I do? I'm a  _monster_!"

"No, darling," Widow Lucas commented gently, looking back up to meet the younger woman's eyes. "You are a  _wolf_ , but no monster. This occurred last night, I'm guessing? The night before full Wolfstime?"

Ruby hitched an eyebrow at her, wondering what that had to do with it. "Of course. I would have never hurt her if  _I_  had been in control! Though I'm pretty sure I was able to keep The Wolf from entering her. At least I tried to. It's all rather cloudy and confusing."

Granny was deep in thought. She loved her daughter's child, more than anything, and she would protect her at all costs. If what Ruby was telling her was true, and she had no reason to believe it wasn't - after all, the older woman had her own experiences to draw from - then Granny had a lot to do, effective immediately, to save them both from the potential fallout. While she worked it out, however, she felt Red should rest as much as possible. The poor girl was a mess. Eugenia rose, taking Ruby's hands in hers again. "Red, honey, you have to sleep now. You're exhausted. You're scared. Things will seem better when you've had some sleep. I will help you fix this. But for now, you need to rest. Go on up to your room."

For the first time in forever, Ruby didn't fight her. Instead, the young woman just looked at her grandmother numbly, exhaustion clear in her hunched shoulders and tear-streaked face, before turning and heading up to her room. "I love her, Gran," she whispered, as soon as her hand hit the staircase, back still turned, and the elder Lucas's heart broke.

"I know, baby girl, I know. That's how this works," she murmured quietly to herself, her sorrow a sharp and painful reminder in her breast.

* * *

It was coming up on early evening, and still Red had failed to emerge from her suite. Granny had decided it was time to check on her. She approached Ruby's door and knocked softly. When there was no response, she tried knocking louder. "Red, dear, dinner will be ready soon." Silence. Eugenia was losing her patience. "Red! Come on out of there. Full Wolfstime is in a few hours. We need to talk!" Still nothing. "Ruby, this is ridiculous. Make yourself presentable, I'm coming in." Widow Lucas removed her master key from her pocket and slipped it into the lock. There was a soft click and the door sprung open in her hand. Her first thought was that it was much too quiet, and upon entering the suite, she also realized too empty. Her Wolf senses told her the rest; her granddaughter had fled. She found a note in the bedroom atop the dark, red velvet comforter.

_Gran,_

_Thank you for being there for me. You can't fix things for me this time. I am a monster and I have to protect all of you, Belle most of all. I don't deserve love or forgiveness from any of you ever again. Please don't come after me. This is what I have to do to keep you all safe._

_~Red_

Eugenia sighed.  _You sweet, wonderful, stupid girl_ , she thought.  _Of course I'm going to come after you._

* * *

Widow Lucas took an hour or so to get Sarah to mind the inn, arrange for Maryanne to watch the diner, and to shove a copious amount of food into Red's basket. Then she headed straight for the forest, her granddaughter's scent a bright neon trail into its depths.

She had gone several miles when she'd located the old family farm and the large cabin she and Red used to share. She took a moment to marvel that it still existed in this world before approaching cautiously. Full Wolfstime was upon them and if Ruby had forgotten or lost her cape, then even Granny had to be careful until the Wolf realized she was there and accepted her presence. Turns out, she needn't have worried; Ruby was out in the front yard, cloak wrapped tightly around her shoulders, picking herbs from the overgrown earth. The cloak would keep her from turning. Eugenia remembered having to force young Ruby to wear this same cloak a thousand times, and she'd always resisted. The fact that she was wearing it now, of her own free will, was an obvious testament to her internal turmoil and fear.

Red looked up as soon as she heard the underbrush crackling, not surprised in the least by her visitor; she'd smelled the elder Lucas on her approach a half hour ago. "What took you so long? And what about  _stay away_  is soooo difficult for you to understand, old woman?" The younger Lucas asked, obviously pissed that her warning, yet again, had gone unheeded.

Eugenia simply looked at her and sighed. "Ruby, honey, as if I'd  _ever_  let my only daughter's daughter believe she was all alone."

Ruby's eyes glistened with new tears in adoration for the woman in front of her, anger dissipating, completely grateful for her grandmother's company. She threw her arms around the elder Lucas and lost herself in the warmth and comfort this woman always brought her. Eugenia smiled, patted her grandbaby on the back, then spoke. "Come on, then, sweetheart, let's head inside. I brought food," indicating the basket she'd brought with her. Ruby smiled softly in response and wrapped one arm around her Gran's. Slowly, they made their way up the path to the cabin.

Eugenia watched in amusement as her granddaughter consumed two turkey sandwiches, a pint of potato salad, two oranges, a quart of milk, a roast beef and cheddar sandwich, half an apple pie, and one small plum. Wolfstime always did make Ruby hungry, and watching the younger woman stuff herself gave the older Lucas a stab of nostalgia for the old days, in their old land, where she had always been able to keep Anita's daughter safe. She sighed and shifted in her chair. Ruby finally paused for a breath, midway through consuming a fried chicken leg, only to see her grandma leaning back in her chair, smiling at her fondly.

"What?" she asked sheepishly.

"Nothing, dear. You are just so beautiful. You remind me of your mother so much sometimes. And I miss her."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Ruby gave a genuine grin at this comparison. She'd never known her mother but Gran had always been careful to make sure her daughter's child knew where she came from. Red  _loved_  those stories. She smiled so broadly and so unabashedly now that a piece of dark meat hung unsightly from her open grin, and she didn't care. Though she still wasn't sure how they were going to fix everything, she felt overwhelming relief at her grandmother's presence.

Gran couldn't help but giggle at the sight. They laughed together for a moment as Red finished up her crazy chicken leg and slowly wound down her eating frenzy. At some point, Gran exhaled loudly, patted her stomach, leg go a rather robust belch, pushed the chair back from her own plate, and moved to start a fire in the fireplace. "Ok, well, finish up here, dear," she said over her shoulder to the younger brunette. "Then meet me on the couch. I have something to share with you." Gran's happy-go-lucky mood had shifted, and Ruby's heart sank.

Ruby was somewhat disappointed at the somber turn their evening was taking, but hurried to clean up their plates and her hands and face all the same. She soon followed Eugenia into the front room. The night was in full force by this time, and the roaring fire gave off a warm, comfortable glow. Red settled herself against onto the couch, flush against her Gran's body, head on the older woman's shoulder, legs tucked under her to the right, eyes closed, basking in the sweetness of the fire glow and the comfort of the woman next to her.

They sat there in silence like that for a long time before Eugenia finally sandwiched one of her granddaughter's hands between her own, and spoke. "You're not the first, you know," she said gently. "To lose control, I mean. There was someone before, honey - before your grandfather. It's a story I've never shared with anyone else, not even your mother. But I think it's finally time I did." She gave Ruby's hand a little squeeze, and the brunette saw sparkling little tears in the older woman's eyes. "Yes, I think it's time you learned the truth."


	4. Chapter 4

Eugenia Lucas got up from the couch to poke the fire a bit before plopping back down on the old sofa, a long sigh trailing from her lips. Ruby laced her grandmother's fingers with her own, offering strength and comfort. The elder Lucas smiled at her granddaughter, taking their hands to her lips and kissing the back of Ruby's. "You're my favorite granddaughter, you know that?" The old woman said, a glint in her eyes. Red grinned in response, "I'm your only granddaughter, you old bat. Now out with it!"

Eugenia grinned back, "Ok, ok. Yes, enough procrastinating. It's time." The older woman lowered her gaze to the fireplace and began to speak. "I'm not sure how to say this gently, so I'm just going to come out and say it. Your grandfather, God rest his soul, wasn't my True Love. I'm sorry if that's hard for you to hear, but although I loved him, sweetheart, he wasn't the one who stole my heart." The Widow Lucas squeezed the younger woman's hand, seeking further reassurance, a small pained smile on her lips. "That, my dear, was lost to a beautiful maiden years before he and I existed." Red's eyes widened at this admission. Eugenia met her granddaughter's surprised gaze and rolled her eyes. "Don't be so shocked, girl. I, too, was young once, you know. And I, too, was attracted to the fairer sex. Anyways, I've gotten ahead of myself, dear. Let me start at the beginning."

Ruby's heart raced at hearing her own Gran had once fallen in love with a woman, much like herself.  _How had she never known this?_  Still, she did her best to stifle her questions for later; she desperately wanted to hear more.

"Back when I was a little girl, about eight years old, a wolf attacked our village, as you know. And, as you also know, my mother, brothers, and father were all killed. The Wolf that killed them, marked me, here, below my neck, above my shoulder, and left me for dead, too." Eugenia had begun rubbing over the place where her right shoulder met her neck, absently tracing the scar that Ruby knew sometimes still bothered her. "I had no one else in the whole wide world, and so, a few months later, that's when another little girl found me- alone, wandering the forest, eating grubs, herbs, and small animals if I could trap them or take them with an arrow, but I was a waif, a ghost of the child I'd been. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, even then. She was younger than I by a couple of years and she was all prettied up in a pale blue dress, white petticoat with white lace trim, a matching pale blue parasol thrown over her shoulder, dark brown ringlets falling over her shoulders- definitely the child of a well-to-do family. I ran from her initially, afraid. What would a child like her want with an unclean little forest urchin like me?"

Eugenia paused, reliving the memory. "But she followed me that day and came every day after that, persisting and persuading, eventually getting me to play with her, and slowly, over the next few weeks, we became friends. One day, she decided to bring me home with her, and a miracle happened: her family, a successful miller and his wife, took me in and raised me as their own for many years after that."

Ruby was stunned; she had never even wondered where her grandmother had gone or who had cared for her after her entire family had been massacred.  _How had she never even asked?_  She felt like the worst granddaughter ever.

"When the Wolf began to grace me with my monthly "gifts" in my early teens, I was horribly embarrassed. But when my friend found out about it accidentally, she was incredibly accepting. Told me that my body was nothing to be ashamed of and that I would be her sister forever, regardless of what appeared between my legs. She even convinced me that her parents would be as accepting, and she stood with me, holding my hand while I told them. Unfortunately, they were not as happy about these changes in my body as their daughter was and became afraid, calling me abnormal, an abomination, and took me to an orphanage that very day, forbidding me to see their daughter ever again.

"I was scared and alone once more," tears glittered in the older woman's eyes, and Ruby hugged her arm tight, reminding her she was not alone now. Eugenia patted her granddaughter's hand, then got up to stand at the fire, lost in her own remembrances, hugging herself tightly. Ruby could feel the emotional strain building in the room, much like the fire crackling in the hearth.

"My friend came to see me as often as she could. The orphanage didn't care when we came or went, as long as their coffers were full from the kingdom's Ward of the State fund, so it was easy for me to sneak out to meet her. One night, when were much older, she arrived at our meeting spot very upset. Said her father had told a lie about her to the king, something about her having magic, and being able to spin straw into gold or some such nonsense. It wasn't true, of course, but her father desperately wanted leniency on his taxes and felt that if he had to sacrifice a daughter to do it, then it was her duty. She told me she would be taken into royal custody in the morning. Oh how she cried in my arms!"

The elder Lucas caught herself against the wall above the mantle, her heart breaking. After a moment, she seemed to recover somewhat and continued, still staring into the ebbing flames. "I promised her that no matter where they took her, I would find her and that she would never be alone. I owed her this gift because she had never left me alone. And because by then I was almost seventeen and madly in love with her; I couldn't imagine our lives apart. That night, when I left her at the path to their home, I hugged her and as we parted, I kissed her. I was so afraid my feelings would be mine and mine alone, but regardless, I felt an urgency to tell her how I felt. My fingers trembled as she took my hands in hers, and to my surprise, she kissed me back. Tiny flames shot their way through my chest and my whole body ignited. I had only ever imagined this feeling. It was amazing, it was magical. And now that I had it, I couldn't imagine ever letting it go. Eventually, I pulled away... telling her she had to get home but that I loved her, and I reminded her I would find her. She told me she loved me too, and we parted, both of us crying about our situation, and I watched her until she disappeared into the night.

"That next night, I started tracking her. I didn't experience full Wolfstime at that age, of course," the elder Lucas clarified, turning back briefly to acknowledge her granddaughter on the couch, still listening in rapt attention. The grey haired woman turned back to the hearth. "My girl's scent- and that's what I'd started thinking of her as, "my girl"- led me to a small round room off the back end of the palace. I quietly sniffed around to make sure we were alone before I leaned up to a small open window and called to her. I saw her peek her head out within moments, and the relief I saw on her face was immense, as was the thumping in my heart when I discovered she was safe. I quietly pulled an old cart in front of the window and scrambled over. She caught me in her arms and we shared our second kiss. It was every bit the heaven I'd experienced the night before.

"Over the next few hours, my girl explained to me that someone was helping her, that she needn't be afraid anymore. There was some small man actually spinning the straw into gold! She was overjoyed and so was I, and as I left her very early the next morning- we didn't want to get caught, you know- I felt on top of the world. That feeling persisted over the next few days until, on the evening of the third day, she told me she would be released to her family. That night, things got more um,  _physical_  between us." Ruby noted the crimson flush traveling up her Gran's neck. "We didn't make love, you know, I respected her too much for that... yet, anyways. But there was a lot of, um-" Eugenia stopped herself from continuing, remembering who she was talking to, and made her way back to the couch, again seating herself next to Ruby, who quickly cuddled back up against her. "Well, anyways, let's just say that things got more  _passionate_  that night, shall we, and leave it at that." It wasn't a request, and Ruby let it go. She didn't really want details anyways; this was her Gran, after all.

"The next night we met in the woods again, she'd been released back to her family while the king determined a suitable reward for her and her family. We celebrated more, took things further, it seemed our love knew no bounds, that we were truly blessed as a couple. I pledged my life to her, as she did me, and as we kissed good night, light and love in our hearts, and nothing could have prepared us for the news the next day would bring.

"She appeared at the orphanage in the afternoon, looking like she had been crying for days. I had been outside playing with some of the younger kids and rushed to her side as soon as I saw her. I took her face in my hands and begged her to tell me what was wrong. Instead, she kissed me long and hard. When we broke apart, both of us needing air, and our foreheads touching, she told me, tears rushing down her face, that she'd been promised to the king's son. That was her family's "reward" for her magical feat. My heart was breaking in my chest, but I was determined not to let this- or anything- come between us. I saw her every night the week before her wedding. And then the big day came.

"I showed up, but stood out of sight, watching her from afar. It was excruciating, but I'd promised her I'd be there, so I watched her walk down that aisle in the garden to him, watched him take her as his own, but as he was pronounced her husband, I fled. Tears completely obscuring my vision, I stumbled into the woods where we used to meet and I fell to my knees, completely torn apart. I didn't understand how this could be happening to me when I knew with all my heart, she was my True Love. I cried for a long, long time and at some point had fallen asleep. When I woke, the moon was overhead and I realized I had to hurry to meet her, as we had agreed. I found her, waiting at the base of the main tower, as discussed. But as I ran to embrace her, everything changed. I could smell him on her. She had laid with him. And a primal anger had rushed through me. How dare this man lie with my True Love! How dare he place his seed on her, inside her!"

Eugenia had moved forward, her hands clenched on her knees and Ruby was rubbing her back, "Gran, it's ok, I'm here." The old woman looked at her granddaughter and blushed, slightly embarrassed at losing herself in these old thoughts. "I'm sorry, Ruby dear... I thought I'd buried many of these feelings long ago. Turns out, I didn't bury them very deeply." The elder Lucas shrugged and gave her granddaughter a small half smile. Ruby merely squeezed her upper arm again in consolation. The older woman took a breath and continued.

"I don't know how it happened but before I knew it, I had her pushed up against a wall, had torn off most of her clothes, and I was deep inside her. She didn't cry loudly, because she didn't want us caught, but she begged me softly to stop. I couldn't. The Wolf had complete control. I took her repeatedly, leaving so much of myself inside her and on her that she had it dripping down her legs. Turns out, I had completely forgotten what day of the month it was. Even if I hadn't, though, I never would have thought of myself capable of this, of raping the woman I loved. Afterwards, I was incredibly afraid of what I had done and I fled, a coward, leaving her broken and alone to pick up the pieces and get back to her chambers by herself."

There was a long period of silence before the older woman spoke again, "So you see, sweet girl, you aren't the only one who made mistakes, who underestimated the Wolf."

Ruby was shocked. "What happened to your girl?" she asked.

Eugenia looked down at her hands in her lap. "I don't really know. Something happened that night and the orphanage transferred a bunch of us to an adjoining region. All my stuff was packed and as soon as I got back to my room, they shoved us into carriages, and off we went. There were guards everywhere- why they suddenly cared about us or where we went, I never knew- but I never saw my girl again. I imagined she thought I abandoned her. I heard some time later that year that she had had a daughter. I was happy for her, even though my heart was utterly and irretrievably broken, I figured after what I had done to her, she was better off."

More silence filled the air in the room between the two women, both staring into what had become a dying fire. "Ruby," the older woman said, now turning to the younger lady next to her, taking her hands in her own once more. "My girl and I had no chance. Life was against us from the start. But you and Belle- you have an opportunity to repair the damage and find happiness together. You can't not try, Red. If she's your True Love, you have to try to make this right."


	5. Chapter 5

In the waning firelight, Ruby stared down at her hands, weeping quietly, openly. She was incredibly grateful for her grandmother's love, but despite what the older woman had just shared with her, the younger Lucas still felt unworthy of being anyone's True Love– let alone Belle's.

"Gran, I appreciate that you're trying to make me feel better, but I honestly don't see how Belle and I could possibly be any better off than you and your girl were. I've destroyed any chance we had."

Eugenia's heart broke open once more, her love for the child she'd reached for and now held fast in her arms flowed over her in waves. She held on tightly as the young woman's sobs grew more forceful, really letting go. Eugenia just cuddled her granddaughter close, like she had when Red was a baby, and waited for the crying fit to pass. On the outside, the older Lucas was strong, a fortress, and she would display no weakness to this child she'd raised, but inside. . . well, that was a different story altogether. She struggled with the situation, needing to think of something to help these poor girls. They had to know there was hope.

After a few minutes, Ruby's tears slowed and her breathing grew more regular. She began to wipe her eyes and gently push away from her grandmother's warm embrace. It was amazing, but honestly after that last cry, she did sort of feel better. Exhausted, but better. Gran had always told her that The Universe had made them who they were for a reason, that even The Wolf existed for a reason. Therefore, she knew in her heart, as difficult as it was to fully grasp right in this moment, that she was loved and that she was not yet beyond redemption. She was a woman who sometimes became a Wolf who, as another of Nature's creatures, she did not always have control of. She had no idea what would become of her and Belle, and for now, her heart was too broken to consider it. Baby steps. At least she was passed the ultimate despair she'd been lying in for the past two days. She had briefly considered ending it all - would have probably done it tonight actually, but in her darkest hour, the Universe had delivered her Gran to her and suddenly the world wasn't quite so bleak.

The elder Lucas took her granddaughter's hands and they rose from the couch together. "I have to get back to town, sweetheart. Maryanne and Sarah are going to be fit to be tied as is. But," Eugenia paused and brought her fingers under Ruby's chin, lifting Red's eyes to her own. "Please remember, darling girl, that you're not alone. You are  _never_  alone." The older woman kissed her granddaughter's forehead and they parted at the old wooden door. "I'll come every night and we can eat and just figure this out together, ok?"

Ruby smiled at her Granny, the sweetest, strongest, wisest woman she'd ever known, and they hugged one more time before the older woman took her leave. Red's smile faltered slightly as soon as the old woman had disappeared into the darkness and they had waved their final goodbyes. She closed the door and rested her back against it. She wanted to believe the wonderful old bat, she really did. With a sigh and a little push, she moved out of the entryway to get ready for bed.

* * *

Archie kicked back from his desk and let the rolling office chair sweep him over to the bookshelf. He was researching  _Pseudologia fantastica_ , otherwise known as pathological or compulsive lying, vs. true sociopathy, thinking he might be able to figure out a little more about Regina Mill's situation before he would be performing her psychological evaluation in advance of her upcoming tribunal. While it was his job to determine if she was even fit to stand trial, he also needed to find out as much as he could about the circumstances of her decisions in order to be able to make recommendations to the royal court on her behalf. He thought back to the old days, back in the Enchanted Forest, where this kind of judgment would never have existed. A "trial" would have been unheard of. Instead, Queen White, Prince James and their advisors would simply have made the decision on their own and handed down both verdict and sentence. He thought back to Regina's original  _attempted_  execution, and winced. He hoped that along with embracing this more  _civilized_  view of justice, his fellow fairytale comrades will have also banished the ultimate consequence from their sentencing. He would definitely be arguing that Regina did not deserve the death penalty, he knew that much. But where the Queen's court took it from there, he had minimal influence. He was thumbing through his copy of DSM-IV and deep in thought when the phone rang. With another push off the bookcase, he was flying back to his desk. He shifted the book to his left hand, finger resting in the semi-closed book to keep his place, and picked up the phone.

"Hello, Dr. Hopper here!" he said cheerfully. He was actually thankful for the interruption; the subject matter he'd been studying was rather dark and depressing.

"Archie, it's important. Can you meet me?" Eugenia Lucas's voice, strong, gruff, and insistent came through over the line. Archie was surprised to hear from her, but answered quickly.

"Of course. My office?" he asked.

"No, this is much too personal. Something has happened." The older woman's voice sounded strained and she seemed firm, serious.

"Ok, sure. Where did you have in mind then?"

The old widow thought for a moment. "You know what, nevermind. Everyone's a busy body around the diner and the inn. I'll come to you after all. Say twenty minutes or so? I just need to get the kitchen started on cleanup for the dinner rush."

"Sounds good, Eugenia. I'll see you then." Archie hung up the phone, his brow creased. He had a sneaking suspicion this wasn't going to be the fun distraction he had hoped for.

* * *

Eugenia Lucas was a prompt woman and showed up outside Archie's office knocking at exactly 5:45 PM. Her face screamed stress and worry, and he gestured her to the couch as he opened the door. She sat tentatively before relaxing somewhat against the leather sofa, seemingly solidifying her resolve. Archie took the armchair to her left. After a few moments of silence and watching the old woman nervously pick at her dress, he spoke first.

"Eugenia, what's happened? Are you ok?" He leaned forward in his seat, his fingers laced together, his eyes full of compassion. "You know you're safe here."

The elder Lucas looked up from her dress then and met his eyes. She saw the warmth there and it calmed her. "Archie, it's happened again."

Dr. Hopper took a minute before finding the memory she was referring to, and his heart slid in his chest. This was definitely not good news.

"Eugenia, I don't mean to pry, but I didn't think you experienced Wolfstime anymore."

The old woman took a moment before responding. "This isn't about me, doc. It's Ruby and um–" she trailed off, suddenly unsure of the information she was about to divulge. She swallowed and convinced herself she was doing this for the girls' own good. "For Ruby and well, Belle. In fact, Belle is the one who suffered the attack."

Archie's face fell with those words, terribly sad at this news. He had seen the two women over the past few months, had been watching them falling in love even if they hadn't yet realized it themselves. This turn of events was not something he had seen coming, but then again, he hadn't been looking. Storybrooke had a way of lulling its inhabitants into believing things like werewolves and fairies were not as serious, not as  _real_  as they had been back home in the Enchanted Forest. But, as he'd been realizing of late, it was a farce, a facade. Their very  _real_  selves from their very  _real_ home were very much a serious concern since the Dark Curse had been broken - and some of them, like Ruby, were potentially dangerous. He sighed. On one hand, this Curse had complicated so much. But on the other, it had simplified and/or civilized so much else. Buying milk from a store versus milking a cow, for instance. Having a trial versus immediate and irreversible condemnation or absolution, another. But having to remember that werewolves and other magical creatures existed when having lived in such a non-fairytale believing world for so long had been a tough adjustment for everyone. How do you reconcile two worlds where you had lived the equivalent of two separate lives? He shook his head, knowing he'd strayed from the topic in his own mind and had allowed silence to hang between them. He recovered from his wayward musings and sought the old woman's brown eyes.

"Tell me what happened, Eugenia."

The woman sighed. "I don't know everything, but I know Ruby– well, The Wolf actually– hurt Belle. Much like what happened with me all those moons ago. . . Archie, they're just kids. They need to have a chance. Have you seen how in love they are?"

Archie's eyes grew warmer and he reached out to clasp and squeeze one of Eugenia's hands in his own. "I have. I think it's beautiful– possibly even True Love."

The grey-haired woman bent her head, staring again at the hands in her lap. "That's what makes this all so, so awful. Doc, you have to help them. Belle especially. And neither of them can know I came here. Partly because I don't want my granddaughter knowing I'm meddling because I'd never hear the end of it, but also because I don't want my story to come out. It's better left buried. And if people knew they might start talking and putting things together and well–" Widow Lucas looked back up at Archie and he was literally stunned by the depth of emotion he saw in the old woman's eyes. "I'd rather that never happened."

Archie nodded. "I agree." He paused for a beat. "So you think Belle needs my help?"

The widow nodded in return. "Red has me, Archie, but who has Belle got? Rumpel? Please. What a self-righteous, egotistical, interfering, curse-making, sparkly old bas–"

Archie reached his hand out again, this time to gently rest on the elder lady's knee. "Gen, I get it." The older woman looked at him and stopped herself, and they both chuckled.

"I get carried away when it comes to my true feelings about that slimy old coot. Anyways, that poor girl needs somebody, too. You were the most qualified I could think of. Not necessarily because you're the town psychiatrist, you know. But because you were my friend back then, Jiminy. You remember what happened, how devastating it was for me, how broken I became. When I met you visiting at the orphanage they sent me to out of realm, you became the only person I could confide in. Honestly, if it hadn't been for you and all your prodding to discuss my  _feelings_ , I don't know that I ever would have survived that period in my life."

Archie moved over to sit next to his old friend on the couch and hugged her close. "I'll do what I can, ok? That's all I can promise. I'll drop by to see Belle tomorrow."

Eugenia forgot how wonderful being hugged by her best friend felt. "Thank you, you sweet, sweet, caring man," she said, pecking him on the cheek. He smiled, face reddening slightly at the compliment. It felt wonderful to be appreciated.

* * *

Belle woke on Wednesday the same way she had for the last three days, exhausted and numb. She considered actually taking a shower today, like she'd promised herself for the last few days since the– The Event. That's what she was calling it now: "The Event". She didn't want to think about it, look at it, or dissect it in any way, so she had given the whole horrible mess the most nondescript, clinical name she could manage. It helped her to compartmentalize, to categorize the situation, much in the same way as she had been categorizing and organizing the Library. She lay on her side, one arm tucked underneath her unwashed hair, warding off a panic attack she felt brewing. They had been rather common since The Event, and even thinking that sometime soon she would need to get up, get dressed and still somehow make it through another  _entire day_  was overwhelming.

By around noon, not much had changed. While she had, by no small miracle, managed to put on undergarments, a white slip, and two different length black socks, her motivation to finish dressing was quickly disappearing. She just wanted to climb back into bed. Belle sat on the edge of her mattress and flopped back against the sheets, hands in fists at her sides. She stared up at the ceiling, growling audibly in frustration. Damn this library and her desire to live on her own and support herself! It was ridiculous how hard it had become just to dress herself. It had taken her just under four hours to put on underwear! She was angry, she was sad, she was horribly lost. She took a breath and hoisted herself upright again to sit on the edge of the mattress, irritated with herself. Self-sufficiency had never felt so impossible. . . or lonely.

And the number one thing she thought about, that consumed her waking moments? Ruby. Her best friend. . . And dare she think it?  _So much more_. She tried not to go there, but the harder she forced it away, the more her brain betrayed her. She'd picture Ruby's smile, her laugh, her amazing eyes and gorgeous long auburn hair, and oh God, her  _touch_... she dwelled on that most of all. The unfortunate part was that these thoughts, as beautiful as they were, would, without fail, bring back  _that night_ , too. . .

The Event itself never unfolded the same way twice, flooding through her mind in fits and starts like a bad movie reel, highlighting different sounds, emotions, and sensations every time. She might feel concrete crumbling under her face, her cheek scraped and raw from the pressure and movement behind her, hear the sounds of heavy ragged breathing echoing in the empty alleyway, or feel her hands held unforgivingly behind her, the warmth of the other body on her back, smell the unique sweet scent of Ruby in the night air, the fabric of their skirts rustling and bunched up between them, Ruby's sweat mingling with her own as the friction between her legs increased, or even note the white hot agony of each brutal scrape across her skin, exposing her, and the relentless kneading of her breasts. But no matter how it began or in what order the scenes appeared, the flashbacks always ended the same... the thick cord of hot muscle between her thighs stiffening, then seizing, warmth spreading all over under her in spurts and starts, followed by abrupt absence, emptiness, the cold night air enveloping everything. The end result was also the same: immeasurable sorrow, heartache, and loss.

She had loved Ruby. Deeply. She was certain of it. And she was equally sure they had been on their way to building something truly special together. She sighed. The Event had changed everything. And so she cried a lot nowadays. Mostly for their friendship and uncertain future. For although she was unsure how to move on from here, the universe had been cruel enough to leave her with a Ruby-shaped hole in her heart. She missed the other woman profoundly.  _How fair is that?!_ For the past few months the sweet waitress had been her rock, her inspiration, and things had developed naturally from there. She had been so close to kissing the tall lanky brunette on many occasions, but had been too timid to initiate it. And she was almost positive Ruby had felt it too.  _I didn't want this for us, Belle, please know that._  The words rang out in her mind occasionally without warning, perfectly tragic and perfectly clear. Small tears formed in her eyes. In the fleeting moments that she actually allowed let herself feel anything, Belle hated what had been done to her, physically and emotionally, but hated how their courtship had been so cruelly interrupted most of all. Falling for Ruby had been unlike anything she had ever experienced before, hot, sexy, warm, romantic, supportive, and all-consuming.

It was all so unlike what she'd had with Rumpel; that somewhat Stockholm Syndrome "relationship" (Leroy had been so kind to point out what that was and explain how it related to her) they'd so unhealthily grown between them. There was no desire to "please" or to "save" when she was with Ruby, just an immense feeling of acceptance for exactly who she was.

She groaned and pushed herself up off the bed in search of a dress; though whether it came from the closet or from the growing pile on the floor, it no longer mattered. If she could help it, she wouldn't see anyone anyways. As fate would have it, the general direction she'd wandered took her to the closet. Clean dress it would be, then. Lucky day.

As she reached for the first dress her hand came in contact with (she was so thankful Red had taken her shopping after she'd left Rumpel), her mind wandered a bit to her previous relationship. Love could not truly exist born of being someone's captive; it was all sorts of wrong. Yet, she just hadn't cared enough about herself in the past to let the reality of how screwed up it was really get through to her. What a mess that had been, er– well, still was a bit really. Rumpel had been trying to contact her relentlessly since she'd left him. Endless phone calls, texts, voicemails. . . and this week she'd had enough. She'd even stopped responding. Yesterday morning he'd been by the library, begging to see her, and she'd ignored him. It infuriated her how he just couldn't seem to let her go, couldn't deal with the fact that although she'd always care about him, even she had her limits. He'd blown it too many times, plain and simple. The fact that he refused to realize they were over, completely and thoroughly done this time, didn't help his cause any either.

She slid the dress off the hanger and over her body in one fluid motion, just as she heard knocking downstairs. She cringed inwardly. She didn't want visitors.  _Can't a girl drown in her sorrow alone?_  Despite her reluctance, however, she forced herself to the head of the spiral staircase and made her way down, pausing occasionally to slip on her shoes, then made her way to the foyer of the building. As she passed the circulation desk, her visitor's face came into view. She was surprised at first, but as she opened the door to greet him, a wave of understanding flooded over her, and with it, the taste of bile. She unleashed it on her unwitting victim.

"Dr. Hopper, I assure you that I am fine and you can tell Rumpel that I can take can take care of myself. Also, I think the fact that he brought you into this completely deplorable. Sorry to have wasted your time." She went to close the door, her anger hot, but Archie stuck his foot out and stopped it from closing completely. God, how she hated pneumatic door closers.

"Belle, Rumpelstiltskin didn't send me. I'm here on my own. In fact, I was hoping you could help me with something. I need to do some research on Regina's case and you have the largest medical documentation resource in Storybrooke. I was hoping, well. . ." he cleared his throat and watched her watching him warily. "I was hoping that although you're not technically open yet, that maybe you could make an exception for me. I promise I won't get in the way."

Belle found herself relaxing, now ashamed of her behavior. "Of course, Dr. Hopper. Absolutely, anytime." Her eyes had softened to a sweet, welcoming blue, and he was grateful. She moved out of the way to let him in and he stepped inside, Belle leading the way to the medical reference section. As he followed her, he secretly hoped that for her sake, getting her to talk would be as easy as this has been. Looking over her messy hair, lack of makeup and odd sock choice, she was an absolute mess.

* * *

Later that night, the door to the library creaked open and Eugenia Lucas slipped through, hoping not to make a sound and disturb the building's sole occupant. She moved quietly to the circulation desk and found a stack of books that Belle appeared to be actively shelving. She reached into the bag she carried and retrieved a large, ancient tome. As soundlessly as possible, she slipped it into the stack and made her way quickly back to the door.

"For you, sweet Belle. Hang in there, dear," she whispered softly, lovingly, before stepping back out into the night, locking the door behind her.


	6. Chapter 6

Dr. Archie Hopper showed up at the Storybrooke Public Library entrance at exactly 7:45am, and checked his watch. Knowing he had some time to kill until Belle was expecting him, he decided to stop by Granny's to grab coffee for the two of them; he wanted to do whatever he could to start their morning off on the right foot. He walked over to the diner and made his way inside, shrugged off his coat but kept his jacket on, and made his way to the counter before taking a seat on a stool. Eugenia caught his eye and winked, just finishing up with another customer. Archie looked around the place, loving how it smelled, how it felt in here. . . before his heart did a little leap. Something – or  _someone_ , rather – was missing, he thought sadly, knowing Red had a way of making everyone more comfortable, her laughter contagious. And right now, her absence was distinctive and upsetting. He felt a tap on his shoulder, bringing him out of his reverie.

"What can I do ya for, Archie?" Mrs. Lucas asked him, a twinkle in her eye, bolstering herself up by her hands flat against the other side of the counter. She always managed to keep a stiff upper lip in the face of tragedy. He greatly admired that about her.

"Eugenia, I greatly admire you," he vocalized, reaching across the counter and placing one of his hands over one of hers. "I don't know how you're managing to hold up right now, but it's nothing short of miraculous." Then he whispered, "Considering. . ." They let the word hang between them for a moment before Eugenia spoke. "I have more faith this time, Jiminy." She smiled lovingly at this man who was her best friend in the entire world. She could count on him to be there for her no matter what - just like he had been all those many years before.

"Not many have friends truer than my Jiminy," she smiled, flushing lightly. "Now what brings ya in this morning?"

Archie swung off the stool and stood, signaling at the coffee pot. "Two drips, straight up, creamer and sweetener to go, please. I thought I'd surprise Belle with a little pick-me-up this morning since she's going to be helping me with my research."

Eugenia winked at him, "You always did think on your feet, you cute little bug!" They both chuckled, then Mrs. Lucas turned to grab him the coffee. Soon they were at the register settling up the tab. As he was putting his wallet away and turning to go, it was Eugenia who reached out and put her hand on his this time. "Thank you, Dr. Hopper," she stated sincerely, her eyes warm and grateful, and gave his hand a little squeeze. Archie gave her a little grin and a slight squeeze back before removing his hand to embrace the coffees. "You are a wonderful role-model, Gen. Never forget it." And with that he swung his coat around him and was back on the street headed for the library.

* * *

It was 9:00 am. Belle had opened her doors and led Archie into the Library a little after 8:00, and he had wasted no time setting up shop at the largest table in the restricted section. He was currently making a list of the topics he thought would be most helpful in his research and had just moved over to the library computer. He wanted to start cross checking titles of publications that might shed some light on his subject matter, pencil laying horizontally across his lips. Occasionally he'd twist the end when deep in thought, running the edges around on his teeth. He'd heard Belle shuffling around up in her loft earlier, but was slightly startled when she suddenly showed up behind him. "Anything I can help with, Dr. Hopper?" she asked sweetly. He looked over his shoulder at her and pivoted in his chair, removing the pencil from his teeth, and giving her a subtle once over. She was dressed today and she had showered; it was a good start.

"Actually, that would be great. Here's a list of journals I'll need. Just stick to the five at the top of the list for now. . . one thing at a time, eh?" Archie wasn't just talking about the publications he needed, but he didn't expect Belle to catch onto that just yet. Baby steps. Getting Belle involved at all in his research could help her immensely and give them a foundation to start from; he'd been pretty sure the beautiful bookworm would have difficulty steering clear of such an exciting research opportunity. Seems he was right, and it would hopefully be beneficial for them both. He really did need the library's resources and he really could use an assistant in this matter. . . and, above all, he wanted to help Belle. Hopefully, he could get her to open up to him.  _All, in good time, of course_ , he surmised, watching as the fragile woman next to him wandered away into the stacks searching for the publications he needed.

* * *

Several hours later, Belle again returned from the bookshelves, arms laden with the latest three medical journals and two books Dr. Hopper had requested. It was noon and the petite librarian found the psychiatrist deeply engrossed in his research, table haphazardly covered in reading material she'd already procured for him. She gently placed the items on the table beside him and he muttered something that sounded like, "Thanks," and then something about "brain chemistry vs. motivation. . .that makes sense" before deteriorating into mumbles and scribbles on notebook paper, followed by rapid keystrokes on his laptop. She smiled at him fondly, happy to be around someone so studious, loving his ambition, and feeling it was slightly empowering. She found she really enjoyed helping him, and that she even felt a little better, truth be told, having something important to do. She'd even run to Granny's to get some lunch for them, her first time out of the library for more than a moment and she'd only thought of Ruby briefly while she'd been there. She'd returned to find him in exactly the same state she had left him in, and it had made her smile– reminding her of how she had been in the old days, in their old land. He paused for a break, long enough to eat the egg salad sandwich and two pickles she'd brought him, before diving headlong back into his work.

As he burrowed into his research, she found herself wandering the stacks a bit and eventually found herself at the front desk where she'd, almost a week ago, abandoned the latest stack of books needing to be shelved. She looked at them longingly, running her hand over some of the dusty spines. The touch was, as always, comforting. That's how books made her feel. Without thinking much of it, she began lifting them off of each other and reading off their titles. "Automobiles of the 1940's", "The Civil War: Families At War," "Odds of Winning at Poker - and Most of Life", and –  _Well, what was this?_  she wondered. She'd come across an ancient old book, truly huge and by far and wide, more dusty than the rest. It had brown water stains on the cover and she grabbed a kleenex from over the desk behind the counter to dust it off more thoroughly. It was thick and full of parchment, like the books from The Enchanted Forest. It was mostly a deep crimson, with a gorgeous illustration of wolves running through a snow covered forest on the front. The title was ornate and seemed to be gold leaf, reading simply, "A Field Guide to Lycanthropes" and down beneath it in smaller calligraphy, "by Lawrence Talbot". Belle's eyes widened, suddenly mortified, that night of pure terror unexpectedly pouring over her. She dropped it at once, like it was red hot, and backed away from it until colliding with a weight-bearing pillar, her hand up against her mouth, open in shock, never removing her eyes from the monstrous volume. Slowly, she breathed, willing herself to relax. It was only a book. Several moments later, she had chided and calmed herself dramatically, and cautiously approached the counter once again. As she grew closer, she grew more brave.  _Foolishness! It's just a book, silly Belle_! she admonished herself. Once she was close enough to it, she bent over the thick tome and lay her fingers on the cover again, feeling the old leather wrinkled and stretched under her fingers. It smelled very, very old. She found her heart racing again, but this time it was more curiosity than fear. She had just begun to open the book when she heard Dr. Hopper call out for her, inadvertently startling her. She took a deep breath, willing herself to calm down, and called back to him, "I'll be right there, Dr. Hopper." Under her breath she added, "But I'll be back for you later," and patted the old book gently before heading off to the doctor's location.

When she reached the good doctor at his table, he was resting back in his chair, tie loosened around his neck, sleeves rolled up, looking thoroughly exhausted. He smiled warmly at her as she rounded the row of books nearest him. "I have to tell you, Belle, this is going to take quite a awhile for me to sort through all of this information, but I am incredibly grateful you're allowing me to be here."

Belle grinned in response and moved to the chair next to him, holding onto the back of it. She flexed the fingers of both hands gently around the tips of the top rail of the heavy old chair, and seemed to be lost in a thought, examining all his books and papers laid out all over the place. Archie let her have a moment, and soon enough she spoke. "Archie, forgive me if I am being obtuse but," as she spoke she pulled the chair in front her out enough to sit, "Why do we owe Regina this trial? Why are you looking for the cause of her actions? Isn't it obvious how incredibly, well...  _evil_  she is? I mean, she cursed us all! She left me holed up in a psych ward for twenty-eight years!"

Archie turned in his chair to face her more completely. "You'd think so, wouldn't you?" But his eyes twinkled and Belle had the impression there was something she was missing. "A person's life is more than we get to see on the outside, Belle. Regina is gravely misguided perhaps, but not truly evil. There is a difference."

Belle looked unconvinced, so he continued, "We have no idea how people react when faced with severe trauma, and everyone reacts differently. Motivation does matter. Even very bad deeds can come from a loving heart." He sighed, thinking over the publicly known details of Regina Mill's life. "For instance, we don't know what Regina suffered at the hands of her incredibly controlling mother, how she reacted inside to her true love being murdered in front of her, how it hurt her that her father never protected her, how she was forced to marry a man she didn't love or even know, and forced to lie with him, night after night, probably against her will. . ."he let himself trail off for a moment, lost in what the Dark Queen must have gone through. After a pause, he continued again, "And all because of a child. Woman though she is now, it all began when Snow was a child and Regina put every illness, every slight, every moment in which the Universe was unfair to her, solely on Queen White's shoulders. She blamed Snow White, and her alone. Again, misguided, but not evil. We cannot know what this woman truly suffered and how those tragedies broke her. Nor can we judge her for how it led her heart astray. Again, motivation matters. . . a great deal, in fact."

Belle looked down at her hands, knowing tears were threatening to overwhelm her but not knowing why this topic was affecting her so profoundly.  _They were discussing The Evil Fucking Queen not her and Ruby! Weren't they? Well, maybe he was but she wasn't?_   _Maybe she was hoping for more out of this exchange? She wished she could fucking think clearly for chrissakes!_ Archie saw the conflict and misery in the brunette and tucked his finger under her chin, bringing her eyes up to his own. "Dear Belle, what's happened?"

Belle choked on her first attempt at a reply, and he patted her knee with his other hand in comfort. "It's ok, you know, you can tell me anything, We're becoming friends after today, aren't we?" Belle felt herself wanting to tell him everything. In fact, the totality of her horrifying experience was practically bursting in white heat from her chest, up her throat, but the words died there. She just didn't know how to begin, or maybe she just wasn't ready yet to talk, either way, she found she was able to ask something. "Do you think that's true of everyone? I mean," she wiped a few straggling tears off her cheek and rolled her eyes to the ceiling, willing herself to continue. "Do you think it's possible that everyone was once good underneath the bad things they've done?" Archie watched her carefully, choosing his words with caution.

"Maybe not  _everyone_ , per se. But Belle, not only do I believe that most people who do bad things were good people once, I also believe most of them can be that way again. We are not the sum total of our parts. . . my behavior does not define me, nor does that of others. Who we are is in our hearts, in our souls, and that doesn't usually change, even if some people put on amazing facades trying to make themselves appear truly evil. The truth is that the reasons people do the things they do are often situational or emotional and most are a combination of the two. I believe that even when those things lead to bad behaviors, if people find they want to change, if they find they truly want to redeem themselves, then it is almost always possible."

A few more tears slid down the brunette's face before he wiped them away with his hand. They were both quiet for a moment before he looked down, braced his hands on the table with some finality, and pushed his chair back from the table, effectively ending the discussion. He didn't want to overwhelm her, not just yet. She needed time. "Now, I think it's been a long day, don't you?" He smiled at her again, and stood, placing his jacket, and coat back on. He then looked back down at her to see her head bowed, eyes focused on her lap, obviously lost in her own thoughts. He delicately laid a firm hand on her shoulder and gave it a little squeeze. "I can be here by eight am again tomorrow, does that still work for you?" he asked.

"it does," she responded. He lifted his hand off her shoulder and expertly slipped his brown wool hat back over his head.

"Good. Shall we?" She smiled, dragging herself from her other thoughts and stood, happily taking the arm he offered gentlemanly and wrapping hers around it. She smiled again at the contact, feeling her sadness lifting. When they got to the door, she leaned up and gave him a little kiss on the cheek. He smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow, Belle, sleep well," and he stepped out onto the landing.

After closing the door behind him, she watched him walk away for a few moments before finally lowering the blinds in the foyer and on the door itself. She retreated into the lobby intending to head up to bed, and passed by the the circulation desk, thinking little of it until her eyes caught sight of the ancient book. She couldn't believe she'd almost forgotten about it! Her breath caught in her throat and before she knew what she was doing, she was clutching it in her arms, still headed upstairs. Maybe this would have some answers for her, she hoped, always having found safety in information. . .or at the very least, the potential of finding some. She desperately hoped that would be the case here because she felt there was so much she was missing, was failing to understand. Dr. Hopper's words came back to her from this evening,  _Motivation matters. A great deal, in fact_. She sat on her bed, musing over those words, absentmindedly tracing the golden inlay of the book's title with her fingers, and she began to wonder. . . _Could Ruby truly have had no control that night?_ And more importantly,  _Does it really matter? To me?_ Suddenly, her heart beat faster, expectantly, and she chided the crazy muscle for it's wonton craving for all things to be fixable.  _Don't get ahead of yourself, Belle,_ she warned. Reassuringly, Dr Hopper's voice chimed in again,  _One thing at a time, eh?_


	7. Chapter 7

Ruby sat on a chair near the old wooden dinner table and sighed heavily. Gods, she was bored. Like crazy, psychosis-inducing bored. She was tired of the same four walls, of the same dozen or more trees surrounding the little cabin, of the same stupid billion blades of grass, even. . .  _Ugh, I can't do this anymore!_  She got up from the chair and wandered to the front room, pulling aside the curtain and peering across the clearing and into the forest. She looked at her watch. It would still be another four hours until her Gran got there. She couldn't live like this anymore, and she was going to have to tell her tonight. The self-imposed exile would end.

Red had spent every day, at first anyways, either curled up in her bed in a fetal position, pissed at the world, or angrily gathering fresh herbs for her Gran's diner. If she cried, which she had done a few times, it was always when she was seething with hatred at herself and her situation. It was always in self-loathing, or at her inability to keep Belle safe. She had replayed the Night of Terror a few hundred times in her head, and each time, she made herself out to be worse than the last. Finally, one night, Gran had had enough. She'd brought over dinner that night as usual, but had also included a couple bottles of bourbon. They'd drunk until they couldn't stand and then they'd drunk some more. Ruby had spilled it all and had cried herself empty. And although there had been hell to pay for the hangover she had the next day, she'd found herself smiling for the first time. She was going to be ok. In fact, as she had roused her Gran the next morning from where she'd passed out on the couch, the old woman swatting at her and acting like a big baby being told to go home, her own head throbbing, she'd even laughed out loud. Yeah, she was doing better. The toxicity of what had transpired between her and Belle had finally reached a point where the world was coming back together. And now, she figured it was time for the next step.

Sighing again, more deeply this time, she pulled herself outdoors and back into the streaming sunshine. She needed to keep busy so, for now, she forced herself across the open space, dissolving into the shadow of the trees. She held her little basket, intent on picking some wild onion she'd seen growing about a mile further to the north. She took in her serene surroundings, cool and comforting, and found herself humming. It was time to go back. It had been a month of hatred, anger and loneliness, and now the healing had begun... it was time. Maybe not time to confront Belle yet, as if Belle would ever want to see her again anyways – but back to her  _life_ , her things, her people. Somehow, she knew she was being given another chance. For what, she wasn't as sure.

* * *

Belle woke early on Thursday, truly expectant for whatever the day might bring her way. It had been a long haul, but she now showered regularly and dressed and fed herself appropriately. Mostly because Dr. Hopper counted on her to be there for him every day, to help him with his research, and had even named her his assistant. She couldn't help it; she beamed with pride at the new title, even if it was subjective and unofficial. It had been exactly two weeks since Dr. Hopper had started coming by her library every day to continue his psychological analysis of Regina Mills. Each day followed a relatively similar pattern; they'd talk some throughout the day, but mostly she fetched books and periodicals and meals for them. She'd also taken to researching her own books at the other end of the table in the downtime, when Archie was consumed by his own work. Her personal research had begun when she'd found the ancient book, had started reading it that night. It turned out to be a basic guide to behavior and habits of werewolves from their old world, The Enchanted Forest, as told by a recluse who had taken his own life into his hands and immersed himself into a pack, with permission, and chronicled their lives for a time. It was fascinating. It was much more narrative than she had expected, but found she rather liked his tone and scientific methodology, as well as the candid horror and delight he would express upon experiencing certain aspects of werewolf life. She had also followed up the information in this tome with  _this world's_  depictions of werewolves, trying to find if there were any similarities across all worlds. She was digging herself in as deeply as possible, desperately wanting to understand what had happened to her, and more about the werewolf phenomena in general. And if she was really honest with herself, more about Ruby.

For the first time in weeks, she found herself sitting in the dim library light as the daylight waned, wondering where the day had gone, and thinking about the long-haired brunette, wondering what Ruby might be doing. She found she missed her. Belle had thought  _of_ Red, of their past – of times  _before_  The Event, of course – numerous times. But this was the  _first time_  she'd really wondered where the other woman was  _right now_  and what she was doing. If she might be as lonely in all of this as she was. Belle frowned; it gave her an unsettled twist in her stomach to feel this way, knowing she wasn't ready to revisit her feelings for Red just yet. Still, she gained some comfort in knowing she still had any feelings towards the long-legged auburn-haired girl at all. She frowned more deeply and looked up at the clock. Every evening after a takeout dinner from Granny's, Archie always left time in the day for them just to hang out, to give her someone to talk to she supposed, maybe he felt sorry for her, and they would just talk about anything and nothing. She'd come to adore the company. More and more, she'd found herself wanting to open up to him, and she thought that tonight she might finally have gained enough courage.  _We'll see_ , she thought as she signaled the doctor that she was headed out to grab their dinner. With the time at hand to spill her guts so close, though, she wasn't sure if she could do it. Her eyebrows knitted together tightly as she slipped out the front door with a quick "Be back in ten!" to Archie.

* * *

An hour and a half later, the visage of the to-go boxes scattered over the table, their books interspersed throughout, was a sight to see - possibly something only the truly focused mind could appreciate. Archie pushed back his chair and stretched loudly, as he often did this time of night, and put his hand on his belly. "Well, Granny outdid herself tonight. That was some fine cooking from that old woman," he grinned. He winked at Belle when she looked up, obviously startled at his audacity before realizing he was teasing. He waved her off, grinning madly. "That old broad and I go way back, no worries." Then they were both quiet for a moment, Belle's pencil wiggling absently between her ring and middle fingers. She took another long drink of her iced tea before deciding just to go for it. "Um, Archie, I was wondering if we could talk for a moment about something." Archie looked over at her and smiled. "Of course, although you'll have to bear with me through my food coma." They both smiled before Belle looked down at her notebook, seeking courage. She didn't lift her eyes as she began to talk. "Archie, umm, so... uh..." she trailed off, unable to begin. Maybe this was a mistake. Archie's hand was on hers instinctively, and he quickly moved chairs to be closer to her. "Try again, Belle. It's just me, you're safe, remember?" She looked into his eyes then and somehow the words were there. "Dr. Hopper, do you remember how on that first day you came here weeks ago, you asked me what had happened to me?"

Dr. Hopper simply nodded encouragingly, "Yes, of course. How are you feeling?"

"Better," she responded softly. "You've given me purpose and I don't know where I'd be now if you hadn't." She stopped, unsure of her next statement, not knowing how to make this segway without it being forced. "There's no other way to say this than, well... shit!" She threw her head back towards the ceiling, Archie's hand still encompassing hers, eyes brimming with tears. She closed her lashes tightly as the torrent of emotion began to wash over her cheeks, leaving her exposed and raw and bare. Archie sat there patiently, squeezing her hand gently with one hand, his other hand clutched firmly on the side of her bicep, rubbing gently, waiting for her to continue. After a few moments, she took a deep breath and spoke, "I was sexually assaulted, Archie. Almost a month ago, actually. And well, I'm trying to find my way back from that night, but it's so hard and..." her tears came again and she couldn't stop them, her throat tight, the words difficult to form. "I'm so sorry, please forgive me," she said, getting up, intending to way away. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry, but, if you'll excuse me, Dr, I forgot that I have an appointment and– " But before she get completely out of her chair and run like she wanted to, her whole body trembling, Hopper grabbed at her wrist and ended the escape. "Belle, stop. Sit. It's ok."

Something in his voice made her pause and he gestured back at the chair next him without releasing her. She sat limply, without the ability to fight anymore, and only then did let her arm go. His face was grave but filled with compassion and she was drawn to it, to being able to finally get this nightmare off her chest. "Belle," he said gently, "I want to hear everything."

Belle covered her face with her hands and sobbed for a while longer while Archie rubbed her back gently, soothingly. He rested his other hand on her knee and waited, occasionally whispering soothing words. Finally the sobs ebbed and she looked into his eyes, overwhelmed by the warmth and kindness she saw there. For another moment, they just sat there and breathed as her hand moved to cover his on her knee and she smiled at him meekly.  _This is it, Belle_ ,  _there's no going back,_  she thought in one final attempt to shut this horrific show and tell down. But her soul wasn't having it, and after soliciting whatever courage she could find, she began to tell him everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N: Sorry it's going so slowly, but there's a lot here I've challenged myself to do in this story. So thanks again for all the kudos and bookmarks and reviews! You awesome readers make writing that much more fun! So hang in there, I do have a plan... and we'll get there, I promise.


	8. Chapter 8

Ruby slid the white blouse over her long arms, buttoned it up, and tucked it into her short red skirt, feeling like the whole situation was rather odd. Her life had been completely torn upside down and yet apparently, the world had continued on as if nothing had happened. She hadn't been sure what she would face when she decided to return to town, but it hadn't been this. She supposed she expected the world to have stopped - or at least slowed - in reverence to the weight she now carried inside her chest, where her broken heart lay.  _Maybe coming back was a mistake_. Doubt and trepidation oozed through her stomach, slithering like a snake through her chest, her throat tightening to keep the blackness from emerging from her lips.  _Maybe I wasn't ready._  She suddenly felt overwhelmed, unsure of the wisdom of her decision. She recalled the insufferable boredom she'd endured over the past month, however, and knew she'd been right to come home. Still, the terror she was experiencing at the thought of being back indicated a deeper truth; she obviously wasn't as  _healed_  as she'd supposed, either. Out of pure habit, she slid on her knee-length white stockings and 4-inch block pumps. It's funny, she thought suddenly, how things like getting dressed for work became so ingrained, they practically happened without her. She barely remembered putting on her skirt, let alone her blouse, nevermind the stockings and shoes. There was peacefulness in such a mundane activity, she supposed, and for a few moments, she finished dressing herself without further contemplation or introspection.

Her brain wasn't interested in staying quiet for long, though. The reality was that Red was about to start her first shift at the diner since she'd been back. Her heart was beating so hard, she was certain everyone out on the street could hear it. She sighed dejectedly, angrily, to the empty suite and collapsed back on her bed, knock-kneed like a child, hands flying to her face, wondering if she could really do this. Things had seemed so safe in the middle of Nowhere, Maine, and she'd thought she'd dealt with so much out there on her own. But she realized now that she'd been kidding herself. Her heart was racing, her throat a vice, and adrenaline pounded through every vein and muscle in her body - all at the thought of returning to this town, to where  _she_  lived, the beautiful one she'd ruined... To say Ruby was panicking was an understatement.  _What if I see Belle? Jesus. How the hell am I supposed to do this?_  Racing thoughts of self-hate crowded in on her, bullying her, as she abruptly sat up, and set her elbows on her knees– hands still clutching the sides of her face. She had her Gran, and she was thankful, so thankful. But while the older woman had saved her from a drastic unchangeable decision, love and compassion lighting Red's darkness, there was only so much the elder Lucas could help her with. Ruby sighed once more, thrusting the air out of her lungs to the empty room with a groan of disapproval, before standing. She moved over to the mirror above her vanity and tied her silk sash around her neck. When her fingers grew still, their banal mission completed, she watched herself, trying to find something to say, to bely some vote of confidence to her image about her situation, but there was nothing. Her eyes met in the mirror and she hated everything she saw.  _You disgust me, you disgust me, you disgust me_ , "YOU DISGUST ME!" It was the mantra in her head, having grown louder and louder until she had squeezed her eyes shut, held onto the vanity table with all her might and screamed it out loud. Panting from the emotion she'd thrown out into the silence, she tried to pull herself together, and opened her eyes.  _How are we going to survive this?_  she whispered to her reflection, tears brimming her eyes. There was, of course, no response, and after one last frightened pause, she turned away, wiped her eyes, grabbed her jacket, and slammed the door behind her.

* * *

Belle glanced at the hands in her lap,  _her hands_ , and tried to focus. Tears brimmed in her eyes and she was trying hard to stop them from falling, trying to hold onto reality. She couldn't believe the words she had just read, but found herself re-reading the passage before she could stop herself. The similarities were uncanny, and she was simultaneously intrigued and frightened. She imagined she heard Mr. Talbot narrating the event in her head:

_I followed the Pack from a distance tonight. Something unusual was to occur. I had sensed it, billowing beneath the wind on our backs for days, only becoming more powerful each dusk, culminating in the odd behavior I witnessed this eve. It was as if they were hunting, but this time they split off from one another, following different darkened paths, all headed for separate local townships. The Pack rarely split up, so this was surprising in and of itself. Additionally, none of them had changed into werewolf form. True, it was the day before the full moon, but if it wasn't something ruled by the lunar cycle, what were they doing out here? And splitting off alone? I chose to follow the youngest female, Frajeh, to the outskirts of the local towne, Gladusri. "I can smell you, you know," she whispered back at me, irritated. I knew she could sense me, but having not wanted to interfere, only observe, I'd tried to stay hidden. "Pretend I am a breeze..." I whispered back. She nodded, more amused than angry, and suddenly stretched herself up, hands over her head, to her full height, unfurling her long golden locks around her shoulders. She whimpered painfully for a few minutes then returned to her normal posture, staring at the city below, almost as if some transformation had occurred. As I tried to figure out what was different, my vision was drawn to a new bulge beneath her skirts. I was intrigued. Before I could inquire, however, she lunged down within the city's boundaries. I gasped, completely overtaken by this boldest of moves. I stayed in the brush but followed her around the edges of the city, watching. I noticed that she was careful to stay between the lamplight, strictly within the shadows, while moving silently further in towards the towne center. I was mystified. What on earth could this She-Wolf want from a city? The Pack's food was symbiotically obtained from the forest; there was neither rhyme nor reason for any of them to step one foot into a towne._

_I was more confused than anything and almost stumbled down the embankment into the towne myself, having become engrossed in tracking the beast below me. I caught myself however, and after a moment of soft curses, saw that Frajeh had stopped as well, staring intently across the center towne square. I followed her gaze only to see a young human female, no older than seventeen, locking up a shoppe and headed back into the residential regions, most likely on her way home. Frajeh herself was only fifteen and I was amazed she'd been bold enough to enter this city alone. It was madness. I was on the brink of heading in there and telling her so, risking possible death and dismemberment myself, when she looked up at me, eerily calm, and brought her fingers to her lips, requesting my silence. It was if she'd sensed I might do something rash. Her eyes glowed a bright amber and I sat back, fearful, as she lunged after the girl we'd both seen. I moved my position to look down at the dusty street below as she overtook the girl with ease and forced her unwillingly into the shadows near the center towne stables. I struggled to see them within the dark, but there was no mistaking the events that transpired next. Frajeh pushed the girl face-forward against the outer wall of the stable, lifted the girl's dress, tore off her undergarments, then reached under her own dress and fidgeted with something there. A moment later, I couldn't believe my eyes. By the Fates, I had seen, in the flicker of lamplight, the sheen of a thin, adolescent penis in her hand! I was astounded! What on earth could be the purpose of this? I was bewildered, but transfixed. Frajeh moved behind the girl and shoved inside her roughly, expertly, her free hand pressed tightly over the other teen's mouth, forbidding her to cry out. The Wolf (and I had no doubt The Wolf was in control as I watched Frajeh's eyes roll into the back of the head, obviously completely consumed by instinct) spent several long minutes pushing in and out of the girl in front of her feverishly until she came, convulsing behind her, before slowing, and finally stilling. I watched, my hand still covering my own mouth to stop me from screaming in horror and alerting the entire town to what I had just witnessed. Frajeh collapsed against the other young woman in a tired heap. Within minutes, however, she was revitalized and began again; after many more minutes and finally loosening her seed deep inside the older girl for yet a third time, Frajeh finally pulled out her now-flaccid member, having utterly exhausted herself. It hung between her legs limply, like an empty sack, and there could be no mistaking what I now saw or the testicles hanging beneath it. She rested her entire body weight against the girl in front of her, her head lowered against the back of the other girl's neck, suddenly behaving incredibly gentle, as if this had been a consensual coupling, obviously soothing and reassuring this girl, whispering things in her ears I couldn't hear from where I sat crouched amidst the brush, and tenderly kissing the other teen's back and shoulders. Suddenly, she released the sobbing girl and ran back up the embankment bordering the towne and disappeared into the forest, howling all the way. I struggled to keep up with her, still absolutely mortified by the events that had just transpired. When we reappeared at camp, all of the werewolves slowly trickled in from their own scandalous misdeeds I assumed, all similarly exhausted, and headed straight for their sleeping areas, falling quickly to dreams. Several didn't even remove their torn and tattered clothing before falling into their down and feather nests and drifting off. I went to my own bed they'd provided for me, thoughts racing, hands trembling while writing down everything I had seen, knowing I would need to talk to the den mother in the morning about this terrifying ritual I'd witnessed._

_The following morning, the Den Mother, Gretaj, and I wandered off a ways from camp and spoke in private; she very thankfully and patiently allowed and answered my questions, which I now chronicle here. It would appear that female werewolves can become intersexed upon mating time and potentially can mate with either males or females, depending on their innate sexuality. The homosexual male Wolves did not participate in the Mating ritual, as they cannot become intersexed. The young female Wolf I had followed, Frajeh, was drawn only to females and therefore her body had created for her the appendage it needed to procreate. The Wolf is drawn to an intense physical and/or emotional attraction to a mate, and cannot control the impulses that come next. They are therefore forced to copulate, without exception. The mates are chosen by their inner Wolves months before the first coupling. After being chosen, the same human is usually selected again and again, as Wolves typically mate for life. Any Wolf who fails in this attempt to complete the mating process is seen as weak and unworthy of pack integration, and may even be cast out, as the Den Mother has seen fit to determine. From the Pack point of view, with any luck they had impregnated their unwilling partners (although it appeared some of the Pack actually had somehow established relationships with the humans they mated with), and would soon be parents. Not that, if they were unattached heterosexual men or homosexual females, they would help raise the children they sired, as their job was finished with the siring alone. Upon birth, the babies borne to human mothers were retrieved and raised by the heterosexual Pack mothers and homosexual Pack fathers (who interestingly enough, developed temporary mammary glands to help feed their young), along with their Pack-borne cousins. This process of seeking mates from humanity ensured the survival of their kind, eliminated in-breeding issues, and only occurred once every two years if pregnancy was achieved. Otherwise, the attempts continued with each lunar cycle until a viable pregnancy was produced. These wolves were creating werewolves through biology, not just from exposure to a bite or a scratch, in the purest lycanthrope form. it is intriguing to note that while werewolves apparently could mate with each other, the infant was almost always too scrawny and weak to survive, and therefore the practice was discouraged. I was aghast at how absolutely barbaric and equally scientifically sound this process was at the same time._ _Nature always finds a way._

Belle looked over the long table to see Dr. Hopper studiously bent over a medical journal, taking notes. She squirmed a bit in her seat. She had known Ruby was a werewolf. Ruby had explained it on their second "date that wasn't a date" - Belle called it this to herself because neither girl had been ready to talk about what they were feeling for each other yet. Red had decided that there was something Belle needed to know and had just laid it on the line and told her. Belle had accepted the information, and her friend, just the way she was, much to Ruby's relief. Belle could see the fear in the tall, lanky woman's eyes as she'd spoken and knew the waitress had expected rejection, and had therefore had found great comfort in the hugs and soothing words that had followed the conversation. But this... this mating ritual, Ruby had never explained to her. Belle blushed. Not that she didn't understand completely why; it was intimate and probably not "second date that wasn't a date" material. Still... she was in shock. Was this really how it worked? She wiped her eyes. Had Ruby been "intensely physically and/or emotionally attracted" to her? She mulled over her mixed emotions a few moments longer before her stomach rumbled. She looked at the clock and saw it was a quarter after twelve, definitely time for some lunch. She also felt some fresh air would do her good, maybe help her shake off some of the crazy she was feeling. She got up and crossed to the doctor's chair.

"Archie," she said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder, "I'm headed to the diner to grab our lunches. Any special requests?"


	9. Chapter 9

Ruby grabbed Mr. Tennak's order before flying around to the kitchen to put it up along with orders from three other tables. She was sweating, she was tired, but boy did she enjoy being back. She'd missed all of this, including the job she'd always pretended to despise. She was in an amazing mood. Everyone was so happy to have her back, and she couldn't believe all the gossip she'd missed while she'd been gone. Like the scandalous tryst between Fanny Moffet, Jeremy Blue and Alice Web who was carrying his baby... or the rumor circulating that Jack and Jill were behind the recent robbery at Tom's Hardware since both had been called in by Sheriff Swan and Deputy Nolan for questioning not long after.

_Ah, this town is crazy!_  Red thought to herself, smiling.  _And I can't get enough!_ She had an ear-splitting grin plastered across her face, her hands rhythmically pushing against the counter behind her, bouncing her gently, rolling her onto the balls of her feet and back. She was so happy she'd decided to come back! This was where she belonged. She paused for maybe a second or two, her back to the chef's window, just catching her breath and taking a moment to embrace the happy, busy scene in the diner, and already her Gran was sending her the stink eye! She caught it and grinned back wildly before finally pushing off the rear counter completely and heading back into the lunchtime fray. –Or well, that had been her intention anyway, when suddenly the front door swung open and Ruby's breath was knocked clean out of her chest. She was here!  _Belle_  was here! Red's mind went blank momentarily and she probably would have been left there, staring open-mouthed like a fool, if her body hadn't instantly taken over. Her legs thrust her out of the way, back behind the counter and she sat there, crouched with her knees pulled to her chest, trembling, as she heard Belle grow closer, smelled her in the air... the sweet aroma of powder and loveliness and dusty old books that was uniquely Belle, the scent that Ruby  _loves_ – hold up, _loved– right Ruby?_  She reminded herself abruptly and angrily that there was nothing there for them anymore, reminded herself that she had ruined any chance of any kind of future that included the two of them together. Her legs began to cramp slightly and she realized she couldn't stay in that position for much longer, so she shuffled off to her left, still crouched, edging her way under the countertop to the wash area next to the kitchen. Only when she was hidden from view in darkness and shadow, did she stand and freeze again, her back only separated from the rest of the diner by this one thin wall. She mused momentarily, albeit unhappily, that with the way her heart was racing, mouth dry and throat tight, terror slicking through her veins, back glued against the wall, arms wide beside her, fingers splayed against the concrete, neck twisted so that the side of her head rested against the wall, she probably resembled some criminal mastermind fleeing the long arm of the law. She forced her eyes closed, squeezed them tightly, trying to imagine herself anywhere but here.  _Fuck! I knew this would happen!_ She slapped her right hand angrily against the wall, willing herself to get it together. Hopefully nobody heard or noticed. She opened her eyes, staring vaguely into the washroom and saw nothing, completely lost in her own debilitating panic. She threw her head back and rolled her shoulders a little, bracing herself for whatever was coming next.  _It's ok, Ruby. Breathe._ As if it was that easy, right?  _Shit._

"Hi there. Just our regulars, please. Oh, and Dr. Hopper would like an extra pickle with his hamburger today, if that's all right?" Ruby couldn't see the woman who was speaking but she knew that voice, intimately. It had haunted her long before they'd even been friends. Red closed her eyes and Belle's voice cascaded over her as the librarian gave her order and chatted with the server, filling Red's every pore, sliding through her body to her very core–  _Oh for fuck sake, get a hold of yourself, Red,_ she admonished herself again, frustrated. How could this woman still do this to her? It sure as hell didn't seem fair. She sucked in a quick breath and peeked out before sliding quickly back against the wall, alarmed. Somehow Belle had moved to the left to wait for her lunch - or, well,  _their_ lunches (apparently the fiesty brunette and Dr. Hopper were tight now?  _What is that about?_  Ruby wondered, not without some consternation and irritation.  _What else don't I know?_ ) - and now the auburn-haired librarian was sitting at the front counter, right in front of where Ruby was hiding. Red tried to catch her breath, but it was difficult. Soon her curiosity got the better of her again, though, and she peeked out again. This time, she stifled a small smile, despite her racing heartbeat... the sweet brunette was rotating slightly on her swivel seat, alternating between looking at the ground between her legs and back over towards where Gran was busy with customers at the register. Ruby sighed deeply, all of her old feelings washing over her, yet again. How she had loved everything about that girl!

Just as she was really starting to lose herself in her own private hysterical meltdown, however, surely drowning in her own thoughts, an arm shot around to catch her by the back of her neck and pulled her out of the kitchen. "You think you can hide from me?!" Snow half-whispered, half-shouted– definitely Belle had heard–  _oh, God, was Belle seeing this?_! Ruby was mortified as she was dragged by her best friend out the door and into the parking lot. Of course everyone inside had shifted in their seats to follow their movements, completely remiss about any possible need these two might have for privacy, and stared out at them openly through oversized windows– all clearly speculating on what was happening. Ruby narrowed her eyes at the diner patrons briefly, completely unbelieving that she had just seen Mr. Tennack and Gepetto doing... what? She strained for a closer look. Placing bets, it looked like.  _Seriously?_  She also just had time to register that her Gran was doing her best to calm everyone down and get things back to normal before she and Snow suddenly stopped moving. The raven-haired Queen whirled on her without warning, her eyes scrunched, mouth drawn and furious, and shook her hand free from the taller woman's collar without care.

"What the hell, Snow?" Ruby countered, rubbing the back of her neck, a scowl on her face, feeling rather irritated and embarrassed.  _Wow, but Snow's irate_ , the waitress thought suddenly, alarmed, having had the opportunity actually look at her friend instead of being dragged along behind.  _Livid, actually_ , was her next as she took in the smaller woman's taut posture and fists balled at her side. Before she could catch her breath and comment aloud, however, Snow's face pushed forward into Ruby's, almost snarling, "Red, where the hell have you been?!"

"Snow, I–"

"Don't you  _Snow_  me! Where the hell have you been? You never said a word! Just left! Not even Eugenia would tell me where! I've been frantic tryin–"

Ruby reached up then and put her hands on her friend's shoulders, caressed them lightly, and noticed they were trembling. With fear or anger, Ruby wasn't certain. She bit her bottom lip and looked into the brunette's eyes, "I'm sorry, Mary Margaret. I have a lot to explain, ok? But not here. Can you meet me after work? We can go somewhere private maybe, to talk?"

Snow saw something flash in Ruby's eyes that changed how she felt inside entirely. "Red, what is it? What's going on? I thought you were just being an ass, heading out on your own, pissed about the Curse breaking and having to be a werewolf again or something but now I'm just confused..." Snow saw a different something flash in Ruby's eyes this time that just plain scared her. "Red."

"Snow." Red kept her eyes on Snow's until she had to look away, shame and embarrassment flooding her face. "Look, I will tell you everything I can. But not here. Please, not here. I can come by your place, around 7:30, though, if that works? Gran's letting me off a bit early since it's my first day back."

Snow softened and brought her friend into a hug, her eyes filled with worry and concern. "I was just so scared. Everything's been so strange since the Curse ended and I didn't know what had happened to you." She hugged Ruby tighter.

"Hey, now," Ruby said, pulling back a little and glancing down at the woman now strangling her torso. She beckoned Snow's face upwards by bending back a bit and when the emerald green eyes below finally met her own, she saw Snow's were filled with tiny crystals. "Hey, none of that, ok? It's all right. I promise. Look, I'm ok. See?" She pushed back and made a grand gesture to her sides indicating the full length of herself. "All in one piece, ok?" She came back to her friend and hugged her again, resting her chin on the smaller woman's head. "We'll talk, Mary Margaret. I'll tell you everything. All of it. I swear." She brushed an errant black curl out of Snow's face and smiled at her, the pixie haired queen visibly relaxing in her arms. She looked down at her friend who met her eyes again. "I'll see you at 7:30, ok?" Snow nodded, a tiny, tentative smile slowly emerging on her face to match Red's own and slowly pulled away, releasing her friend. "Ok, but be on time. You know how much I hate–"

" _Punctuality is the foundation of success._  Yes, yes, I know, Snow. I believe I've heard that somewhere before." Ruby rolled her eyes and grinned.

The former schoolteacher smirked back and stepped away, waving her friend off, her grin suddenly growing. "Yeah, yeah, just you remember, missy," she said, turning towards the street and looking for cars as she readied herself to cross. She took a last look over her shoulder. "You're in it deep. So if I were you, I'd come up with something really good by 7:30 tonight. Oh, and Red?" she smirked again before stepping off the curb. "You bring the beer." She smiled again and waved; Ruby waved back, both of them pretending for now that everything was going to be all right. Neither had missed, however, the heaviness hanging between them.

For a moment, Red just stood there, though, somewhat dumbfounded by the events of the past half hour, smile fading as her friend moved off down the next block, and suddenly wondered what the fuck she was supposed to tell Snow exactly. Could she really trust her with the truth? She was completely overwhelmed and the panic was back.  _Fuuuuuck! Double fuck!_  She wanted to scream, to cry, to get it all OUT to EVERYONE just once and for all, face the punishment, whatever she deserved, she was ready dammit. Instead, she swallowed the fury and frustration and turned away, realizing it was time to head back. The journey seemed infinitely longer than she imagined it should have, the gravel crunching beneath her platform heels a constant reminder how far she still had to go, both physically and figuratively. As she reached the door to the diner, she hesitated a moment and bit her bottom lip, wondering what Belle's reaction had been to the god awful scene.  _What a way to make a new impression, Rubes_ , she grumbled to herself. She sighed and pushed open the door to the diner, mind almost numb. She glanced around as soon as she crossed the threshold, a ludicrously unrealistic wave of hope passing over her chest, but already knew Belle wouldn't be there, could  _feel_  she was long gone. She had fled. Fled because of  _her_. Red sighed and headed over to the kitchen. Somehow she had to find a way to push this mess out of her head for the next five hours until her shift was over. She took a deep breath and prayed to all the Fates that she she could keep it together that long. In another breath, she'd grabbed the first four orders and headed out to deliver them to the tables.  _Keep it together, Red._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to start improving for our girls now, although there's still a lot of story left to go. Thanks to all of you wonderful people who have stuck with this fic, regardless of how slowly I've been updating. This silly story means so very much to me and your kind words keep me motivated, so, uh, keep it up ok? :) xx!
> 
> (Did anyone get the nursery rhyme references? Lol. Miss Moffet, Little Boy Blue and the Spider... hehe. I mean, they'd all be people in SB, right? haha. That was really fun.)
> 
> All errors are my own. :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N: I know this update took forever, and I apologize. I will try to update more frequently in the future. In any case, I bring you Ch 10 - I hope you enjoy! (All errors are my own. I admit, I may have rushed some things because I was excited to get it up. Please forgive me.)
> 
> Quick Note: Snow's character may seem slightly OOC. This is because a) I wrote her as "Badass Snow" from FTL, and b) I figured after growing up together (which they did in my Universe), and seeing how Red and her family are a bit "rough around the edges" you might say, that maybe they had developed their own method of communicating that they might not have with anyone else. They are basically sisters in my version. Except they like each other. Ha!
> 
> Rating: NC-17 with WARNINGS, see first chapter.

 

Ruby swiped the back of her hand along her sweat-covered brow, threw the dishrag over her shoulder, and grabbed the next batch of orders off the line. What a day it had been! After Snow had left, it had been a constant barrage of questions about what had gone on. Well, that was until Granny found an old apple crate, stepped right up on it in front of the whole room, put her fingers to her mouth and blew. All eyes had flown to her, the room so quiet you might have heard an inchworm crawling across the floor. It was kinda scary when Granny got this mad. "Now you all cut it out, ya hear? My grandbaby's business ain't nobody's but her own. Next person t'ask her about it, talk amongst themselves about it, or even _think_  about it gets a one-month ban from the diner! Do I make myself clear?"

There were a few scattered murmurs in response. Ruby's gran was less than pleased. "Well?!" she called sternly to the room, fists on her hips, "Surely y'all can do better than that?"

Immediately the room erupted with cacophony of "Yes, ma'am" and "Sorry", and as it died down, one lone, tiny "You're bossy" rang out from somewhere in the back. Everyone turned to look, but no one would own it. Eugenia narrowed her eyes, trying to see if she could catch the one who would dare risk their diner privileges, but after a moment it was clear that the offender was safe. Mrs. Lucas's eyes softened and she took her hands off her hips and her fists unfurled.

"Well, alrighty then. That'd better be the last of it." She gave one last sharp look at the crowd before stepping off the crate and flipping it upright to take with her. It was pretty quiet while she crossed the room and placed the crate behind the counter. Fred Cale, the butcher, was the first brave soul to approach the counter and offer to pay for his meal. Everyone watched in stunned silence, collective breaths held. "Didjya enjoy your dinner tonight, Fred?" she asked sweetly, and the man breathed out in relief. The customers behind him also exhaled. Within moments all was forgotten, and the diner was a loud ruckus once again. It'd been non-stop service since.

Red took a quick breath now as she very quickly dropped off the omelette and steak to table five and the side of mashed potatoes for the Emerson baby at table three. On her way back up to the front, she hazarded a quick glance at the clock and her heart stopped.  _No, it couldn't be!_  She had exactly seven minutes to make it to Snow's by 7:30 or there would be hell to pay! She caught her Gran's eye and nodded towards the clock, and was given a shooing motion from the old woman in return.

"Good luck, honey," Eugenia whispered lovingly as her granddaughter approached, recalling only too clearly how she'd once needed to rely on her own dearest friend for support. She hoped, for Red's sake, Snow would be as gentle and loving. Ruby smiled in response, stole a quick peck to her grandma's cheek and was off. Her apron was untied and thrown over her shoulder before she even reached the staffroom.

* * *

Within fifteen minutes, Red was in her street clothes and headed up her best friend's front walk. She approached the front door with mild trepidation. Her palms felt clammy and as she raised her right arm to knock, she realized both hands were already in fists. She was more frightened about the upcoming conversation than she had realized. She swallowed nervously, unclenched her fingers, smoothed her palms along her jeans to wipe away some of the sweat, and closed her eyes tightly as she rapped on the door. She heard a vague, "It's open," from inside and took a deep breath before turning the knob beneath her fingers.  _Here goes nothin, Rubes. Let's see what your relationship with Snow is really made of._  She opened her eyes and the door at the same time.

As soon as the door swung wide, Ruby was overwhelmed by the sweet flowery scent that was distinctly Mary Margaret, and the lingering hint of fresh pine that was distinctly David. This, along with soft pastels throughout the apartment, had always helped Red feel comfortable and happy here. No matter which world they'd loved in, actually, Snow's had always been a house of compassion and support. . . Ruby hoped that held, even now. As soon as she'd crossed the threshold, she was greeted with a big, warm smile from Snow over her kitchen counter. She was standing very relaxed, white wine already in hand. Ruby could see another glass had been poured just for her. Her own smile overtook her face and she eagerly shut the door behind her before sliding onto a stool in front of it.

"Hey," she said, still smiling despite her stomach turning itself inside out. Her fingers tapped nervously on the glass and she bit her lower lip.

"Hey," Mary Margaret replied, eyes twinkling. She had no illusions that whatever Red was about to tell her would be an easy conversation, but she hoped her love for the werewolf shown through. Above all, she wanted her bff to know she was in a safe space.

Red eyed Snow with adoration, having no idea how this amazing woman was able to put her so at ease, even as tense and uncomfortable as she had been on the way over. But, without fail, she did. Snow was her very best friend, her rock. She just hoped that that wasn't all about to disappear. With that last thought, Ruby had unconsciously lowered her head in shame, and Mary Margaret looked on, an intense ache surging through her chest. She reached over the counter and placed her fingers under Ruby's chin, lifting the woman's soulful brown eyes to her own. Ruby looked back at her, eyes now filling with tears.

"Oh, Snow. . ." she started, the tears flowing down over her cheeks in waves. Mary Margaret quickly rounded the island and was next to Ruby, her friend's face in her hands, in record time.

"Honey, tell me," she said softly, her fingers pushing Red's errant hairs out of her face, her right hand dropping to cover Red's own in her lap, gripping it strongly. "It's ok, it's ok now. I've got you."

Red was unable to stop the tears; they were like a deluge. She hadn't cried like this since the night she'd first told her Gran what had happened. There was something about the women who loved her that made her want to purge everything bad and evil within, get it all out. Snow pulled Red's face to her shoulder lovingly while gently slipping an arm around the other woman's waist and pulling her gently to her feet. She very carefully guided her friend across the room the couch, and they both settled onto the soft cushions. Ruby sobbed for a long while. Snow held her like her life depended on it, all the while rocking her, placing soft kisses in her hair and whispering beautiful, supportive things in her ear.

Finally the tears slowed. Both women had lost track of time. Snow hadn't been sure what tonight would entail and had therefore requested David stay at his own place tonight. She'd also asked her daughter, Emma, to make herself and her son, Henry, scarce as well. The last thing she knew she and Ruby needed was someone walking in on this obviously crucial, painful conversation. Ruby slowly pulled back out of Snow's arms and dried her eyes with the base of her palms. Mary Margaret helped wipe a few away with her thumb and cradled Ruby's left cheek as they faced each other. They dropped their heads forward simultaneously, foreheads meeting in the middle, Ruby stared into her lap, toying with an errant string from the couch. Snow just waited and watched.

Snow wanted to gather a few things, and nudged Ruby up off her a bit. "Sit tight for a second, dear," she said and hopped up from the couch. She was back in a flash with a box of tissues and their wine glasses. Snow plopped back down on the couch, and gave Red a silly side-eye. Red was mid-sniffle in a fresh tissue when she caught Mary Margaret's silly look and giggled. Soon they were both laughing over gods knew what. When the giggles slowly died down, Snow pushed Red's wine glass closer to her on the coffee table.

"Drink this. It'll help you relax. Gods know you need it, you look like shit." Snow grinned evilly as she said it, the twinkle in her eyes a welcome distraction; Ruby grinned back. It was truly great having her badass friend, Snow, back in her life. Not that she hadn't liked pre-curse Mary Margaret, but this woman, the one who was holding her and giving her something to laugh about at the same time, this was the friend she'd grown up with, that she adored, that she'd killed her own mother to save. This woman, she often thought, with immense gratitude, was the reason she'd survived to adulthood. All the scrapes she'd been in, and Snow had had her back through every single misadventure, and had possibly loved her even more because of it. They were "two peas in a pod", or so Ruby's gran always used to tell them.

Red sat up fully and bent forward, cupping both hands around her glass. Mary Margaret was now reposed against the couch arm, knees drawn up, naked perfect little feet and tiny pastel blue painted toes resting on the couch cushion, facing her friend, cradling her own wine in her hands, the bottom resting on her stomach. They both drank at the same time. Snow just waited. It would come. After a few moments of sitting together in comfortable silence, Ruby leaned back against the couch and smiled.

"You know the only reason I ever come over is because you have wonderful taste in wine, don't you?" Ruby stated, glancing over at Mary Margaret and grinning coyly.

"Oh, is that so?" Mary Margaret took the bait and Ruby nodded. This was an old routine for them. "Well then I suppose I'll have to make sure I never run out, won't I?"

There was a pause as both friends looked back to their glasses. "You mean everything to me, Red," Snow continued. "I can't imagine my life without you." And with that she buried her tiny pale toes under Red's thigh.

Red laughed. "You always did get cold feet. Here let me warm them up." She took Snow's legs and straightened them out so that both feet rested on her lap. She picked up the right foot first and absentmindedly began to rub. Snow just waited. She knew her friend too well; she couldn't be rushed.

Suddenly, without warning, Red's fingers stopped and the words exploded from her, shamefully.

"I hurt Belle, Mary Margaret.  _Badly_ ," she stressed the last part, trying to get Snow to understand this was not trivial. "Not like  _Peter_  bad, obviously, but really, really bad."

Mary Margaret was admittedly confused. Red had killed and eaten her boyfriend, Peter, long ago, when in her werewolf form. And yet, Mary Margaret was certain she'd seen Belle that afternoon in the diner. She'd looked fine, as far as she could tell. What possibly could have happened to make Red think these two incidents were even remotely on the same level? Instead of asking though, she just waited. It would all be clear soon; the floodgates had been lifted.

"Um, so," Red continued, dropping her head into her hands, and sitting all the way up now. Snow moved her feet back along the couch and watched. "Um, ah, I—jesus, Snow, this is so hard. I'm so afraid to tell you!" She didn't dare raise her head and look the other woman in the eye. Mary Margaret reached forward and placed her hand on Red's forearm, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"I'm not going anywhere, Red, you know that," she said. Ruby looked up to see her friend's face lined with concern but not disgust or pity. Mary Margaret gave her a warm smile, the kind that worked its way up into her eyes. Red returns the smile half-heartedly. This is where it will might change. Her heart was breaking all over again. If she lost Snow, she didn't know what she'd do, either.

"Tell me that again in a few minutes, after you've heard the whole story."

Both women sat in silence for a few minutes while Ruby worked out the words. Finally, she could bear it no longer.  _This was either going to work out or it wasn't, she was no coward! She had to face what she'd done, didn't she?_

"I assaulted her, Snow. In an umm...  _intimate_  way. It was terrible and forceful and tragic in every way you can imagine."

Snow's eyes narrowed in confusion. "Wait. . . you and. . . Belle? Why, Red? Why would you hurt her? You would never hurt anyone! Peter was an accident!"

Red buried her face in her hands, elbows resting on her knees. Slowly awareness settled over Snow. She had read the Book many times when they were children. She knew what this meant.

"Oh my gods," Snow's eyes were wide and she suddenly gripped Red's forearm so tightly it hurt. "She's your True Love." The statement hung heavy in the air, so powerful and serious.

Red looked up at her again, eyes brimming with new tears, and nodded. "And the Wolf's mate."

It took Snow only a minute to add that to the equation. "It was right around Wolfstime, yes?"

Red nodded again.

"Holy fuck."

Red swallowed and looked at hands in her lap again before dragging her eyes back over to her best friend. "Exactly."

"I assaulted her, I told Gran, and I ran. I got the Hell out of Dodge. I couldn't put anyone else in danger." She balled her fists at her side and stood up, full of rage with herself. Snow grabbed at her jeans, trying to pull her back to the couch, but Ruby was lost in her memories and self-hatred.

Slowly Ruby settled back to the couch, allowing herself to be pulled downwards and once again into Snow's arms. She sobbed once again to her friend's chest. "Do you hate me?" she finally croaked out, the words dripping in fear.

"Snow held her tighter and smoothed her hair. "Shhh, no, never. I am always here for you. I know you never would have done something like. that on purpose. Never. I. Know. You."

Red looked up at her and saw Mary Margaret was telling the truth; she saw only love in those big green eyes. Red threw her arms around her this time and squeezed her hard. They both pushed back and after a few moments of silence, Snow asked, "So what now? Why did you come back?"

"It was absolutely the most horrible experience being away from everyone. Plus, if I stay away from belle, I shouldn't have any more... issues. After all, I've always controlled it before. I'll even wear my cape every Wolfstime!"

Snow gasped. "Wow." Red  _never_  wore her cape on purpose. And a moment later, she followed it with, "You know, I know tonight has been tough on you. How about you go home and get some sleep and meet back here sometime tomorrow. I have some ideas I want to kick around with you."

Red looked at her warily. "Ideas? About what?"

"Well, it's True Love, isn't it?"

"Yes. Yes it is but -"

"But nothing, Red. Love always finds a way. Always." She picked herself up off the couch then lent her arm to pull Red up as well.

Red began to protest and Snow got on her tippy toes and put a finger to her lips. "Shhh. No more talking tonight. We are going to figure this all out, I promise. Together."

Red couldn't help but laugh. A full, bottom of her diaphragm laugh, and it felt good.

Snow rested back on the flats of her feet and raised her eyebrow quizzically. "What?" she asked. "What's so funny?"

Red just smiled at her, face still red and raw from all her tears, and Snow found the smile contagious. "It's just that my Gran said the same thing. That we'd figure it all out.  _Together_. It suddenly dawned on me that here i was so afraid and yet I must be the luckiest woman alive to have you two as my guardian angels."

Snow blushed softly and pushed up from the floor once more to land a kiss on Red's cheek. "We will. And you are," she finished, and rolled back to her normal height.

Red continued to grin before moving forward and taking both of Snow's hands in hers. She leaned down and kissed her cheek as well, as had been their custom in the old land, and whispered in her ear, "Thank you so much, my sweet friend." Snow crushed her in a bear hug she wasn't expecting and both girls laughed.

"Ok, so, I'll head out now," Ruby said, her fingers sliding from Mary Margaret's and making her way out into the night from the open door. Just as she was about to head down the path though, she looked back up, eyes full of hope and possibility.

"Do you really think she could ever love me or want me again?"

Snow's heart ached for her friend once more. She didn't know all of the specifics, no, but she knew that the way True Love worked in their world was that it worked through any obstacles in its path. This would be no different.

Mary Margaret grinned. "Yes, my friend. Yes. Now go to bed. I'll see you tomorrow, ok?"

"Ok," Red replied, still reeling from the emotional evening. "Snow?"

"Yes, Red?"

"I love you."

"As you should," Snow responded, grinning. "Now go. Shoo. What do I have to do to get you off my front stoop?"

Ruby laughed and turned away, hand in the air, feigning annoyance. "Yeah, yeah. I'm going. Just remember I only come for the wine," she said snarkily.

Snow called out behind her, "Just know I haven't forgotten that it was your turn to bring the beer. I will have my revenge, never you fear!"

Snow heard her friend laughing softly in the night as she crossed the street. "Good Night!" she shouted out after her, and was rewarded with a clipped, "'Night!" in response.

Smirking playfully, Snow slowly closed her door and locked up, whispering to herself, "We will figure this out together, Red. I swear to you." Her brain worked in overdrive as she walked around the apartment cleaning up after their evening, mulling over everything she'd learned and everything that was probably yet to come. After placing the glasses on the counter next to the sink and the kleenex back in the bathroom, however, she decided to leave the bulk of it for another day; it was too much for one evening. She turned off the light and headed for bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N: Please remember to leave a comment. I enjoying knowing what you guys both like and don't like; all of the feedback helps me become a better writer. Thanks to all of you for sticking around and I hope this chapter didn't let you down! Some fun stuff is coming soon! Much love! xx


	11. Chapter 11

Ruby sat on Mary Margaret's bed, legs crossed, eyes closed, listening as the soft winter breeze hummed through the branches outside. She was in tune with everything. It had been Mary Margaret's idea to return to the meditations Red's mother had taught her, to release herself from the near-constant emotional turmoil she'd put herself through since "that night". Red's primary objective now was to center herself, hoping to find a modicum of peace about her life going forward, her next step.

So far, she did feel a bit better, calmer somehow; she knew it would take time and practice to delve deeper into what was troubling her, but it was a good start. Any reprieve from the prison she'd created within her own mind, endlessly wallowing in her own self-loathing and fear, was a welcome change. Because, if she was honest with herself, she was terrified of everything these days—of herself, of her future, of living a life without Belle. Specifically, she had heard of people from the Old World who had found their One True Love but lived their whole lives without committing to them; it always ended badly—usually with madness and death. To deny magic that strong, the most powerful magic in the universe, was to deny Mother Nature entirely and therefore, slowly destroy your own soul. So yeah, Red was scared. Her Gran had somehow managed without her girl, but Ruby knew had had to be more to that story, maybe even some magic involved in keeping the old woman alive and sane. And regardless, the Widow Lucas was far from happy and fulfilled, and to Red, living a similar existence, woven of heartache and misery, was just as frightening. At any rate, Snow had given her this gift today, a few moments free from all of her inner battles, and Ruby was grateful. This specific meditation also helped her focus on her Wolf, allowing them to feel more bonded than separate, thus granting her more control of her dual nature and lessening the chance that she or her Wolf might hurt anyone else.

As she began to swim free from the depths of relaxation, Ruby opened an eye to look around. She immediately startled at the close proximity and intense gaze of her tiny, pixie-haired friend sitting cross-legged next to her. Snow giggled as she watched Red react; her bestie had always been jumpy for the first few minutes following these meditations. Snow guessed it was from the suddenness of no longer being wherever she went when she was under the trance.

Red leaned away from Mary Margaret, pretending to be alarmed, before dropping the act and stretching her limbs, commenting dryly, "Every heard of personal space, Snow? Jesus. Seriously, creeper no creeping!" She grinned back madly at Mary Margaret. Truth was, she felt better than she had in eons.

"Oh, puh-leeeze, don't flatter yourself Little Red  _Riding Hood_ ," Snow let her tongue stretch out those last two words, her eyes gleaming in delight at their game.

Red cringed at the reference, and Snow smirked, eyes still twinkling, knowing just how much her friend hated that nickname. Snow quickly burst into laughter as she punched her friend's shoulder. "You dork! I haven't been sitting here staring at you! Merlin! I've actually been busy and made us lunch. When I saw you coming around, I thought I'd like to be here when you came back to Earth." Snow paused, placing a comforting hand on Red's thigh, her gaze softening, voice suddenly gentle. "I know how uncomfortable that adjustment can be for you sometimes."

Ruby had meant it all in jest, but flushed slightly at her friend's sweetness. She rubbed absently at her shoulder like a big baby ( _no, but seriously, Snow may be small but she's strong_ ), and returned the smile easily.  _Snow really is the best friend ever_ , she thought, right before starting in on on the little brunette powerhouse about what was for lunch.

"Nuh-uh, not so fast, sugarplum!" Mary Margaret threw her arm out quickly across her friend's torso as Red tried to get up, and shot the waitress a stern side-eye. Ruby's forward movement now inhibited,cocked her head at Snow in surprise and mouthed "sugarplum?" Snow grinned widely in response, but quickly regained her composure and lowered her arm. This was serious, and she needed Red to focus on her recovery for a minute. "First, I wanna know. How was it?"

Ruby inhaled and looked down before meeting Snow's gaze. "It was good, Snow. It was maybe even helpful." She searched Snow's eyes for the words. "Thank you."

The White Queen was sitting where she had been: cross-legged on the bedspread next to, and facing, Red; the waitress, however, had swung her legs out in front of her, fully excited about the prospect of lunch, and was now sitting forward on the edge of the bed, facing the front room, feet on the floor, hands ready on either side of her, fully ready to propel herself towards the kitchen the instant she was given permission. Mary Margaret leaned forward, gently placed her hand over Red's left, and squeezed. She realized quickly, however, that it wasn't enough, that she truly needed Ruby to  _feel_  how she was not alone in this, and as always, the tiny brunette was ready to give what was needed to those she loved. Within moments, she'd moved her legs underneath her, and without removing her hand from Ruby's, was soon kneeling on the bed and tilting forward, planting a soft, loving kiss on Red's temple. Ruby's eyes fell closed at the contact, fully embracing the affection passing between them. There was so much history and love here, and she squeezed Snow's hand firmly in response before leaning into her as well. She was immensely grateful for this woman's friendship, and they sat for a minute more, just enjoying one another, Snow's forehead pressed above Ruby's left ear, right before the moment ended for good.

Red was, of course, the one to officially break up the mushy love fest (having never been one for sappy moments, she had on many, many occasions over the years wondered, not without frustration, what devious magic Snow employed that always sucked her in—every. damn. time). The lanky brunette actually hadn't intended things to end so suddenly in this case, however. All she had done was glance over at the kitchen counter for nary a second, and her stomach had grumbled. Loudly. Red blushed, but Snow laughed and slid off the bed without another word. Hands still linked, she pulled her dearest friend towards her before leading the way to the kitchen to enjoy their meal. Snow was pleased that things were improving for Ruby and had all the faith in the world that they would continue to do so.

* * *

Red grinned ear-to-ear, and confirmed the obvious. "So good. You may actually make the best fish tacos on the planet, MM. Was that salmon?"

"Snapper. And the salsa is a recipe I learned from Regina when I was a child. We'd sneak down to the kitchen sometimes late at night when I had a particularly bad dream and well," Snow's eyes unfocused slightly, lost in the memory. "She always put in a tablespoon of mango juice with the lime and extra cilantro. I thought it was delicious. She said her father taught—" Snow caught herself rambling. Regina's upcoming trial was obviously on her mind, in her heart. She closed her eyes briefly and gathered herself, taking a deep breath before turning to Red, conjuring a smile, and briefly patting her friend's thigh. "You know what? It's not important. And good, I'm glad you enjoyed it. That's what I like to hear." Snow winked at Red before sliding off her chair stool and collecting the dishes, carrying hers around to the other side of the island and starting up the sink. Red lazily handed her own plate over the countertop, her food high still making her smile like a happy little imp. Snow looked up from rinsing the dishes to grab it, and smiled at the sight. Gods, how she wanted to see Ruby smile like that all the time. She watched Ruby lean back, cross her arms, and slowly close her eyes, and as Mary Margaret finished up at at the sink, she relished the light sounds of her best friend drowsing. Red had always been relatively useless after meals. Snow smirked to herself at that thought while wrapping up the rest of the food and putting it away. In all honesty, she felt wonderful about beig able to give her friend this day to just concentrate on herself. Unfortunately, she knew the "pleasurable" part of what she'd had planned was coming to an end. They had more work to do today, and she had a sneaking suspicion Ruby wasn't going to like what she had planned. At. all.

About fifteen minutes later, Snow had the kitchen back in order and rounded the island to nudge Ruby's arm. "Hey sleepyhead, come over here to the living room with me for a second." Red groaned softly but allowed Snow to lead her to the couch; they both sat. Red tried to regain her nap and snuggle into Snow's side, but the Queen wasn't having it. "Ruby." And when Red failed to respond, she continued, "Ruby, no." Finally, she pushed back at her friend's insistent cuddling ( _Gods this woman is stubborn!_ ) and squirmed out of reach, letting Red slide to the couch cushion, face-first. Mary Margaret giggled at the sight, despite herself.

Ruby lay there, sleepy and boneless, and groaned again before slurring into the cushion beneath her, "Why do you hate me so, MM?"

Snow grinned and leaned forward, pushing her friend back up to a sitting position and looked into her eyes. "I know it's late. I know you've been working ridiculously long ass hours—" Red pointed at herself and mimed that Snow couldn't  _possibly_  be referring to her, and grabbed a nut from the bowl on the coffee table. She obviously did not want to have this conversation, had noticed the mood turning more somber, but Snow wasn't going to let it go. "Stop it, Red!" she ordered and grabbed for the next nut before Red could pop it into her mouth. Red groaned and rolled her eyes, feeling a Mary Margaret "Special Lecture" coming on. "This is serious, Ruby. You've been working yourself to  _death_ , avoiding anything—anyone—something—some _one_. . ." Snow emphasized the last word for effect, looking at Red meaningfully. Red looked away, like she'd been slapped, and for a moment Snow felt sorry for what she was about to do. She dug down though, found her courage, and pressed on. She grabbed Ruby's hands in her own. "Look at me." She placed her finger under Ruby's chin and tilted her face towards her, lifting the other woman's eyes from the floor where they had fallen. "But it has to stop, dear. Tonight. Tonight this self-hatred, this self-loathing, ends."

Red's eyes filled with tears and her face fell, her eyes now focused once more on the floor, and she removed her hands from the safety of Snow's. "I-uh," she started and failed. "Snow, I just don't know what you want from me." She stood suddenly and rubbed her hands together before turning back on her friend, eyes brimming with tears, anger and frustration replacing sorrow. "Don't you think I've TRIED? There is no escaping this! Belle is THE ONE! Don't you understand? You know the Old Ways, MM. There is no universe in which this ends well for me." The anger was gone as quickly as it had come and Ruby fell back against the couch, defeated. Snow looked on, now more convinced than ever that it was the right time.

"Red, you talk of the Old Ways, but you have forgotten that True Love always finds a loophole, a way to be, if you accept it and respect it for what it is. You can recover from this. I don't know how much work or how long it will take, but I promise you, if you still want Belle, this is far from over."

Ruby looked up from her sulk, and took in the composed and proper woman sitting next to her. "What makes you so sure? You and Charming?" she scoffed. "You guys are an aberration, even I know that—even in our world. This cannot be saved."

Snow looked at her, refusing to let herself get caught up in her friend's despair. "What if I told you there was a way? What then?"

Red looked over at her, jaw set, eyes clashing. "I'd say you were  _wrong_." Ruby stressed the last word with so much self-hatred and determination, Snow felt a slight shiver run through her.

"No, this is NOT how it's going to be." Snow found her footing and braced herself against the self-deprecation pouring from her friend, with just as much replying. She grabbed Ruby's shoulders tightly, probably more tightly than she needed to ( _but dammit, she was frustrated too!_ ), and forced Ruby to meet her eyes. "I will  _not_  lose you to self-doubt and self-hatred again. We've been here before, yes? Well, we can't bring Peter back, but this time we  _can_  do something about it." Snow paused, eyes softening. "But Red, sweetheart," she reached down suddenly, and grabbed Red's right hand tightly, squeezing it for all she was worth, needing the woman in front of her to really  _hear_  what she was about to say. "Red, you'll have to  _believe_  it can work."

Ruby was tired. She felt so alone and badgered and she didn't understand what Snow was looking for here. She closed her eyes tightly and slowed her breathing, squeezing back much too tightly, painfully, on Snow's hand, frustration threatening to overwhelm her. But as her breaths lengthened, Snow felt her friend's grip loosen; Ruby was using the breathing exercises that preceded the ancient meditation her mother had taught her. Mary Margaret remained still and waited; after a few minutes, Red opened her eyes. Plump hot tears fell down the waitress's face as she met Snow's eyes once more. "I don't know what to do, Snow. I can't live my life without her. I smell her everywhere. I am consumed by her always. My thoughts, my brain, is overcome by Belle, BELLE, BELLE!" she squeezed Mary Margaret's hand again in frustration, but was mindful enough to contain it this time. She squeezed her eyes shut tight, tears continuing to slide down her flushed, sallow cheeks, nearly whispering the last few words, "I'm so lost, Snow." She hung her head, tears unyielding.

Mary Margaret's own face was wet now, too, as she reached forward and gently stroked her best friend's cheek. "I know, sweetheart, I know. Shhh, it's ok." She cuddled close and let the taller woman bend into her side, holding Red until the woman's shoulders stopped shaking quite so hard. As the sobbing ebbed, Ruby looked over to her left and for the first time, as she brushed away some tears from her face, noticed the stationery and pen that Mary Margaret had laid out on the table in front of them. For some reason this struck her as funny and she smiled at first. That is until her mind began to put it together; she was on her feet again in a flash. "What's this?" she asked accusingly, picking up the paper and seething at the words "Dearest Belle," written across the top. "What the fuck, MM? You think I'm just supposed to writer her a fucking  _love letter_  or something and all will be forgiven?"

She threw her head back and laughed, a high-pitched angry, laugh, tears once again careening down her face. Snow looked on, alarmed and frustrated herself, eyes narrowing at Red like she's watching some petulant child refusing to take her medicine.

"No. I'm not THAT naive. But it  _is_  time you told her you're sorry."

Red threw her eyes back from the paper in her hand to Snow, absolutely flabbergasted. Her eyes flashed at her friend and she reacted one pure instinct. "You're fucking kidding, right? You realize I didn't just bite the head of her Barbie, Snow? I fucking RAPED her?" She slammed the pen back down on the table and was across the room, hand on the door, in mere seconds. She paused only long enough to say, "I know you want to help. But you don't  _fucking know_  what you're doing this time, Snow."

And with that, she opened the door and slammed it behind her.

Snow sat in the room and sobbed. She had been so sure this would work.

* * *

It wasn't until Red was back in her own bedroom, sitting on her own bed and weeping, finally finished wallowing in despair and anger at Snow's terrible "idea", that she realized the stupid letter that Snow had started for her ( _Seriously, Snow? I wouldn't know how to begin a letter?_ ), was still gripped firmly (and wetly at this point), in her left hand. She couldn't say how long she'd been lying there, but her tears were dry. And for some reason, she unfolded the paper in her first and pressed it out on the mattress. Then she lay there quietly and looked at it, really SEEING it for the first time.

"My Dearest Belle," it began, just as it had in Mary Margaret's apartment.

Well that part wasn't her at all. It would have to go, she thought. And without thinking, she'd grabbed a pen from her nightstand, and crossed out those three words. For the first time in eons, she let her mind wander, if only briefly, if there might be something to this. Something about the paper in her hands, the pen in her fingers felt  _right_. Like really, really  _right_. Suddenly, without cause, a tiny leap of hope bounced in her chest and her mind flirted with it, let it fill her. Could she actually do this? Even if she was to write something, what the fuck could she possibly say that would mean anything to Belle?

The pen found its way across the paper and lines were scratched out, new papers retrieved and letters begun again, until the moon was close to setting and Red knew that this would have to do. Her heart made another little leap and she felt herself grinning, despite herself. Snow had been, right, this activity had been ridiculously fulfilling and she felt a huge weight off her chest.

But it wasn't over yet, was it? Her heart fell in fear. Next, she knew, came the hard part, and she suddenly felt nauseous.

* * *

The shadowy figure, covered by a New Moon and buried within a long, hooded robe glided across the plaza and up the steps to the entrance of the Storybrooke Library. Ruby lifted the mail slot, her hand shaking wildly. She was shaking so hard in fact, that she couldn't guide the letter into the slot. She grabbed her wrist with her other hand, trying to force it to calm down. Gods, she was nervous. But her Wolf instincts, the same ones that could sense the flow of the Universe as well as any sorceress or fairy, screamed at her that this was  _the right thing to do_. And so here she was. Finally, the letter addressed only to "Belle" slid through the slot and inside, and she sighed, briefly thinking,  _It's done. What will be, shall come to me._ It was a cliché from the Old World, but it never failed to prove true. Letter delivered, she had no more business here, and she turned back down the steps to the sidewalk. She hadn't walked more than a few feet before the desire to run overwhelmed her. Quickly stripping off her robe and folding it under her arm, she ran like the devil himself was hot on her heels; she didn't stop until she was in her room, door locked behind her, like somehow that could keep her safe from what she'd just done. To be honest, the running had helped her nerves; it always did. The Wolf needed it and so did she.

She began to dress half-heartedly for work; of course she would have the early shift today. She rolled her eyes at the irony. She was doing ok though, all things considered, and she was feeling rather proud of herself. As she tucked her blouse into her red skirt, however, an evil little thought creeped up her neck and nestled into her brain, pestering her, a bit of darkness to contrast the light,  _What have you done? She will NEVER love you!_  She tried to force it away but it dug in its heels, and her stomach reacted swiftly, violently, as she ran for the toilet. After ridding herself of Snow's excellent cooking from yesterday afternoon, she stood, panting, one arm bracing herself against the doorframe, exhausted. She closed her eyes, tired beyond her years and ever-sorrowful, desperately searching within herself for resolve to face what was coming for her next. Only silence and emptiness met her efforts, however, inferring that she had, however temporarily, also purged herself of the darkness. One moment more, and she knew she couldn't stand there forever. She lowered her eyes to the carpet, pushed her heavy body off the doorjamb, and stepped back into the bathroom to clean herself up. It was time to start another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, that's the update! I hope you liked it. Please drop me a review and let me know; the feedback is so helpful to me. I want to make this a great story and you all are helping me do that. Thank you!
> 
> BTW, I have officially altered this fic to be the first story in a Trilogy I've been planning for a very long time. The next story will be Swan Queen-centric, followed by another that will be Sleeping Warrior. They will all be completely separate stories but will have overlapping background elements, themes, etc, that tie them together. I will only be able to write one at a time, however, so I hope you will just be patient with me and just enjoy each story as it comes.
> 
> I love you all! Thanks so much for sticking with this story!


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